#half the vday posts were from him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

clumsyclifford · 3 years ago

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HELLO BELLA PROMPTS?? YES!!! how about “I don’t know what that means” for cake? <3 molly

hello molly i am jumping ahead to post this before valentine's day officially ends. some vday office cake for you :) also if you're not a marvel person then i am so sorry in advance.

read here on ao3

It's taped to the frame of his desktop when he sits down.

To: Calum From: Your Secret Admirer I’d trust you with my heart, Valentine.

Calum blinks at it. Blinks at the picture on the card, of a circular contraption of some kind that reads ‘PROOF THAT TONY STARK HAS A HEART’. So it's a Marvel-related valentine. For Calum. From a secret admirer.

“Luke,” Calum says, pushing out his rolly chair to speak to Luke in the next cubicle over, “can you tell me what the fuck this means?”

Luke has already been here ten minutes, and he pauses mid-task to look over at Calum. “What what means?”

“Someone left this for me,” Calum says, offering the valentine. “I don’t get it.”

Luke takes the card and frowns. “What do you mean, you don’t get it? It’s Tony Stark’s heart.”

“I don’t know what that means,” Calum says. “I don’t watch those movies.”

He might as well have just punched Luke in the face. “You what?”

Calum shrugs. “I like the DC movies. Never got into Marvel.”

“Seriously? You’re the last human being on the planet who doesn’t like Marvel.”

“I know, I’m not like other girls,” Calum says, rolling his eyes. “Are you telling me this metal…thing is this man’s heart?”

“You seriously don’t know?” Calum shakes his head. Luke looks appalled. “I can’t believe it. You’re going to offend whoever this secret admirer is.”

“Well, I don’t know who they are,” Calum says. “Give it back.” Luke does, and Calum folds it in half and rolls back into his cubicle.

“Probably someone in this very office,” Luke says over the wall. “Aren’t you curious?”

Calum shrugs, though he knows Luke can’t see. Honestly, Calum’s got no interest in being secretly admired. He’d much rather be openly admired, specifically by one Luke Hemmings. And there’s no way the secret admirer is Luke, because he’s pretty sure Luke’s dating that Michael guy who picks him up every day after work.

If it’s not Luke, Calum doesn’t want to know. He sets the valentine aside and responds, “If they wanted me to know who they were, they’d have signed the valentine. I respect their decision not to reveal their identity.” It probably means the valentine is a joke, anyway.

Luke hums but doesn’t say anything. Sighing, Calum logs on and pulls up yesterday’s work.

Samuel L. Jackson with an eyepatch smirks at him from a pink page, surrounded by hearts.

To: Calum From: Your Secret Admirer I’ve got my eye on you.

“Seriously?” Calum says, to no one. He’d been in the bathroom not even five minutes.

“What?” Luke asks. “Did your computer crash? Mine did earlier.”

“No, there’s —” Calum unsticks the valentine from his computer and leans over the cubicle wall. “Look.”

Luke takes the valentine and reads it. He grins. “How romantic.”

“Is this another Marvel thing?” He’s pretty sure it is. He’s pretty sure Samuel L. Jackson is in the Marvel movies. “It’s a bit creepy, don’t you think?”

“I think it’s great,” Luke says. “Wish someone would give me Marvel-themed valentines.”

"So tell your boyfriend to get them for you."

Luke frowns. "My boyfriend?”

Calum pauses. "The guy who always picks you up? That's not your boyfriend?"

"Who, Michael?" Luke laughs. "No, Michael is my housemate. I don't have a boyfriend."

"Oh," Calum says, like his entire universe isn't doing elaborate skateboard tricks and throwing him out of balance. No boyfriend? This six-foot-four blueprint of a man is single?

On Valentine’s Day?

"Well,” Calum says, “Uh, you can have mine. The valentines. I don't need them."

Luke shakes his head. “No way. You’ve got an admirer, Cal! You're not even appreciating the effort they're going to to let you know they care about you! That they’ve got their eye on you.” Luke waves the valentine in Calum’s face. Glancing around conspiratorially, he whispers, “I suspect Annie.”

“It’s not fucking Annie, Luke, she doesn’t swing that way.”

“What? Seriously?”

“You didn’t know Annie’s a lesbian?”

“I…” Luke squints. “Did not.”

“Well, now you know.”

“But I maintain it’s an inside job,” Luke says firmly.

“Obviously it’s an inside job,” Calum says. He holds out a hand and Luke obligingly returns the valentine. “Again: I don’t care.”

“I can’t believe you just…don’t want to know.”

“Believe it,” Calum says. “Alright, nice talking to you. Back to my cubicle of shame now.”

“I’ll miss you terribly,” Luke laments as Calum ducks back into his own space, and Calum is glad Luke can’t see the blush that rises as he smiles.

To: Calum From: Your Secret Admirer Are you set to Instant Kill? Because my heart stopped when I looked at you.

The new Spider-Man stares out at him with Tom Holland’s face. Calum’s forehead hits his desk.

“You good?”

“Look at this!” Calum springs to his feet and rounds the wall to Luke’s adjacent cubicle. It’s so much homier than Calum’s own one. Pictures of people Calum assumes are Luke’s family and friends decorate the inner walls, and a framed photo of him with two young men who look uncannily like him is propped up beside his computer. Luke and his brothers, Calum figures. They’re quite a handsome family, though in Calum’s opinion Luke is far and away the most attractive of his brothers.

Luke takes the printed paper out of Calum’s hands and laughs as he reads. “That’s good,” he says. “That’s a good one.”

“I don’t fucking get it!”

“Oh, the new Spider-Man’s suit has an Instant Kill mode that—”

“No I get the joke, Luke, it’s pretty self-explanatory, I meant I don’t get why I’m being targeted.”

“Targeted? You’re being courted,” Luke says. “Someone’s heart stops when they look at you and they want you to know.”

“Nah, I don’t think so,” says Calum. “I think it’s a prank.”

“Oh, come on. Who in this office would be pranking you?”

That’s a fair question. Nobody here is really the pranking sort except…

Wait.

“You,” Calum says suddenly. “Alright, give it up. This is you, right? Having a laugh at my expense?”

“Seriously, you think I’d do that?” Luke looks hurt. “You think I would prank you into thinking you had a secret admirer? I’m not a monster.”

“Well, I don’t think anyone here is a monster,” Calum says, sighing. “Which means it’s probably not a prank. So someone here fancies me but doesn’t want me to know who they are. What the fuck am I supposed to do with this information?”

“I’m saying,” Luke says, “launch a fucking investigation! Full-scale Sherlock Holmes the shit out of everyone. Alibis, handwriting checks —”

“The signatures are typed, it wouldn’t matter—”

“— lie detector tests! I bet we have a polygraph somewhere in the building.”

“Lie detector test,” Calum repeats, grinning. “That’d be hilarious. Imagine we get everyone in a room just to ask if they’re my secret admirer.”

“I mean, whoever it is, I can’t say I blame them,” Luke says conversationally. “You’re the number one hottie in the office.”

Record scratch. “I’m what now?”

“When you rank everyone in the office,” Luke says. “By hotness. You’re number one.”

“No,” Calum says, then, “What?” He shakes his head. “What? Who’s ranking everyone in the office?”

“Me,” Luke says. “What, you think I sit here all day doing work?”

“Yes?”

“Then the capitalist pigs have gotten to you,” Luke says somberly.

“Okay, where are you on the list then?”

“I’m not on it,” Luke says. “It wouldn’t be fair. I can’t objectively rank myself.”

The very nature of ranking hotness is subjective, but Calum has bigger concerns at the moment. “Well that explains that. You’re the actual number one office hottie.”

“Not according to the official rankings,” Luke says.

“You’re bullshitting,” Calum says. “I don’t believe you actually did this.”

Luke narrows his eyes. “Why? You don’t think you’re the hottest in the office?”

“No I do not, but it’s also just…poor form to rank people like that.”

Luke sigh-groans. “Fine, you got me. I didn’t rank everyone.” He shrugs. “I put you at the top and the list ended there.”

“Alright,” Calum says, swatting his shoulder. “Enough of that. I’ve already got one secret admirer in the office, I don’t need another.”

“Hey, I’m not being secret about it,” Luke says, with a winning smile. Calum feels all his internal organs melt. “Let me know if you do decide to launch that investigation. I could be your John Watson. Or we could do Good Cop/Bad Cop! But if we do I call being the Good Cop, I’m absolutely awful at being intimidating.”

“Don’t think either of us are cut out for the police life,” Calum says wryly, “but I’ll keep it in mind, thanks.” He accepts the valentine when Luke returns it to him. “How soon is lunch?”

“Half an hour.”

Ugh. “Alright,” Calum says, dragging his feet until he’s back in his own seat.

The valentine — or more accurately, Tom Holland’s grave expression — stares at him. Calum stacks it on top of the others and rolls his chair in, thinking about Luke calling him the hottest in the office without a trace of insincerity.

Every Monday is the same routine: Calum and Luke get lunch from the Einstein Bros. Bagels in the lobby, and then bring it back upstairs to eat together in the office kitchen. Luke always insists he won’t make a mess this time, and Calum snags extra napkins for when he inevitably does. It’s truly remarkable, how Luke manages to get cream cheese on every available surface.

Lunch with Luke is Calum’s favorite part of every day, but he likes Bagel Mondays the most.

“I was thinking,” Calum says.

“Always a dangerous endeavor, but go on.”

Calum gives Luke a look. “Listen, okay. I was thinking. Not that I care or want to know or anything, but I’m starting to think Cam is behind these valentines.”

Luke hoots triumphantly. “You so wanna know! I knew you’d cave.”

“I don’t—!”

“It’s okay, Calum, there’s nothing to be ashamed about.”

“I’m not ashamed, I just don’t want to know!”

“Ah, shut up, of course you do,” Luke says, waving him off. “So…Cam?” He casts a look around as if Cam will have materialized in the kitchen in the last fifteen seconds.

“Well, okay, her cubicle is close to mine, so, proximity,” Calum says, holding up a finger. This is so stupid, but whatever. “And she would be able to see when I get up to go to the bathroom and could move quickly.” Luke nods. “Second, I know she’s interested in men, which…is not true of most of this office, so the suspect pool is already pretty narrow to begin with.” Another nod. “And third, I know she’s single, which, again, many people in the existing suspect pool are not.”

Those are all circumstantial reasons,” Luke says. He rolls his eyes. “What about, you know…she likes you?”

“But how could she like me? We barely talk outside of work reasons. I barely talk to any of these guys outside of work things apart from you.” A realization strikes. “Wait a second. Wait. Your cubicle is right next to mine! You must have seen someone putting these on my computer.”

Luke blinks. “Nope,” he says. “I didn’t see anyone.”

“You know who it is,” Calum accuses him. “You’ve known this whole time!”

“Hey! That’s a big accusation.”

“I can’t believe you’ve just been lying to me,” Calum huffs. “Trying to throw me off the scent by suggesting Annie? I bet you even knew she was a lesbian.”

Luke laughs. “I promise you I did not. And I didn’t see anyone putting these on your desk, and I’m not lying. What, you don’t trust me?”

Calum stares, but Luke stares back, unflinching. Eventually Calum yields. “Alright. Fine. You’re not lying. They’re just very stealthy.”

“Maybe it is Cam,” Luke says thoughtfully. “I bet she has a crush on you, anyway. She’s always seeing what you’re doing.”

“You’re so full of it.”

“It’s because you’re the hottest! Hottest in the office, I am telling you.”

“No, stop it, and I’m pretty sure we agreed you’re the hottest in the office.”

“I would never have agreed to that.”

“Because you’re biased.”

“Um, I’m pretty sure you’re the biased one, Calum Thomas.”

“Um, I’m pretty sure you are, Lucas Robert.”

“Name’s not Lucas.”

“Well, it should’ve been.”

“Well,” Luke says, leaning across the table, speaking in a voice that’s so low it’s almost a whisper, “your mum.”

Calum laughs over his heart making a car-crash noise. Complete with meowing cat and clattering objects of questionable origin.

“I win,” Luke says, springing to his feet. “Back to work! Will you throw this stuff out? Thanks, you're the best, see you on the floor, soldier!”

And he’s gone before Calum can even agree.

Calum gathers all the trash and tosses it in the bin as he heads out. He approaches his desk with a sense of dread. They’ve spent all of lunch stowed away in the kitchen; something tells him that will have been plenty of time for the secret admirer to make their next move.

Sure enough, taped to his computer is a valentine with a picture of what Calum is pretty sure is Thor’s hammer.

To: Calum From: Your Secret Admirer Are you Thor? Because I’m only attracted to you and Captain America.

This time he laughs. Luke pops up before Calum can even summon his presence.

“Did you get another one?”

Calum hands him the latest valentine, and Luke giggles. “That’s a good one. This one’s my favorite so far.”

Calum inclines his head. “You know what? I have to admit, they’re growing on me.” He pauses. “Okay, I’m a little curious now.”

“Oh, now you’re curious.”

“I’m going to solve this,” Calum decides. He takes the valentine back and takes his seat, examining it as if maybe the secret admirer will have left some clue in the way it’s been cut.

Luke peers down at him. “Good luck,” he says. “Let me know if you need my help. I’ve seen every episode of BBC’s Sherlock and I watched the RDJ film, so I’m basically a pro.”

Calum chuckles. “Noted, thanks. I’ll call on you if I need a second opinion.”

Luke gives him a salute and then disappears into his own cubicle, presumably to draw up a ranking list for ‘Most Likely To Be Calum’s Secret Admirer.’ Left to his own devices at last, Calum leans back in his chair, closes his eyes, and runs over all the evidence.

It’s almost embarrassing how quickly the answer jumps out at him.

If he were a more mean-spirited person, he’d stage an exit to catch the perpetrator in the act, but he doesn’t want to publicly humiliate them, so unfortunately that’s out of the question. Instead he just quietly mulls over the epiphany, arguing and counter-arguing with himself. On the one hand, there’s no way it’s who Calum thinks it is. On the other hand, there’s no way it’s not.

Five minutes to five, Luke knocks on their shared wall.

“Yes?”

Calum spins his chair and sees Luke roll into his line of sight. “Well?” he says. “Did you figure it out?”

“Oh yes,” Calum says with a self-assured nod. “Once I set my mind to it, I figured it out very quickly. I mean, it’s fairly obvious when you consider all the evidence.”

Luke waits. When Calum doesn’t continue, he says, “And? Who is it?”

Straightening up, Calum says, “It’s Cam. I’m sure of it. I don’t see how it could be anyone else.”

Luke blinks at him. “Really? You’re sure?”

“Positive.” He glances around and then rolls his way closer to Luke. “You think I should ask her out? She’s clearly kind of shy.”

Luke looks conflicted. “Um…do you like her?”

Calum hums. “Well, see, that’s the problem. I’ve actually got my eye on someone else.” He raises an eyebrow at Luke. “Any guesses who?”

Luke crosses his arms as a grin slowly forms on his face. “Using my elite Sherlock Holmes-esque powers of deduction, I have one guess.”

“I know it’s not Cam, you idiot,” Calum says, fondly shaking his head.

“Oh thank God,” Luke says. “‘Cause no offense to her, but I am not having her taking credit for my very hard work.”

“But here’s what I don’t understand,” Calum says. “Why would you continue to give me Marvel-themed valentines after you knew I don’t watch those movies?”

Luke laughs. “Cal, I already knew you weren’t a Marvel fan. But I am.”

Pause. Gears turning. Reasoning becoming clear. “You devious little shit,” Calum says. He gets to his feet and pushes his chair back in. “You gave me valentines knowing I wouldn’t appreciate them just so I’d bring them to you?”

“I’m an evil mastermind,” Luke says, spreading his arms. “And I’m proud.”

“You did throw me off the scent, I’ll admit,” Calum says. “When you said you didn’t do it and you didn’t know who did.”

“Ah-ah-ah, I said I didn’t see anyone put them on your desk. Which was true.” Luke also stands to return his chair to its position. “And I said I wouldn’t prank you with them, which was also true. None of this was a prank.”

“I mean, it was a little bit of a prank.”

“Nope. One hundred percent genuine.”

“It had elements of a prank,” Calum says. “The deception, the scheming…”

“It wasn’t a prank!”

Calum sighs and smiles at the same time, a feat he’s mastered since meeting Luke. He takes the stack of valentines and flips through it. “So you mean all of this? I make your heart stop? You’ve got your eye on me? You’d trust me with your heart? You’re attracted to me?”

“And Steve Rogers,” Luke says, straight-faced. He nods. “But yes. All true.”

“Then I have a very important question to ask you,” Calum says, pocketing Luke’s valentines. Luke tilts his head as if to say hit me. “Will you, Lucas Robert Hemmings, be my Valentine?”

Luke beams. “Calum Thomas Hood, it would be an honor.”

It’s the first Valentine’s Day Calum hasn’t absolutely hated, but he has an optimistic feeling that it won’t be the last.

#calum hood #luke hemmings #cake #cake fic #5sos #5sos fic #fic #my fic #finding a title for this took me almost an entire hour GOOD fucking lord #i HATE titling prompt fics #especially because i couldnt find a good lyric from yknow the 5sos SONG called valentine #i tried guys #i really did #anyway molly here you go #it's still vday for another half hour so #i hope you appreciate this

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breezymichelle99 · 4 years ago

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Valentine’s Day | Sidney Crosby

Summary: Spending Valentine’s Day with Sidney. (yes I do realize it’s past vday but to be fair I started it then 😂😂😂) and I have tried to post this about 100 times but I had issues lmfao

Gif credit goes too: @barzzal (thank you for this btw 😍)

Warnings: smut 18+, COVID mention, male and female receiving, and unprotected sex.

You woke up to an empty bed. February 14th, Valentines Day. You sighed. You were used to waking up alone on game days, Sidney would typically work out, review game footage, or practice up until game time, plus meetings and whatever else he had going on before the game. This schedule of his usually didn’t bother you, but something about being alone this morning made you feel sad.

You pulled his pillow into your chest breathing in his sent, letting out a loud sigh and deciding to get going with your day. When you got out of bed you noticed a box on the dresser with a note. You smiled. “Oh Sid.” You giggle as you pull the note from underneath the bow and read it aloud, suddenly feeling guilty for acting like a brat. “Happy Valentine’s Day baby, sorry for the early morning, I fully intend to make it up to you, please put this on and I’ll pick you up after the game tonight. I love you so much and I wish you could be there today. See you tonight my love. Xoxo Sidney.”

You pull the bow from the box and lift the top to reveal the most exquisite little black lace dress. You pull it from the box and hold it to your half dressed body. The full length mirror on the back of the bathroom door gave you the perfect look. You couldn’t get the smile off your face. He really did know the way to your heart.♥️

Because of some of the COVID restrictions still in place you still could not go to games with him, or sit in the stands and watch him play and it killed you. You loved watching him on the ice, but for now you would settle for watching him play on TV.

You hung your fabulous new dress on the back of the bathroom door smoothing it out, excited to put it on tonight. You had the perfect set of heels and underwear to pair with it, all of which would drive Sidney crazy and was bound to end the night with the two of you ripping each other prospective clothes off, tossing them throughout the house and getting tangled up in the sheets of Sidney's bed.

You slipped into the shower, snapping a little secret pic just for him. “Thank you for the Valentine’s Day surprise. Good luck today. Miss your face. I love you so much. Xoxo 💋”

He was just heading into morning meetings when his phone buzzed. He grinned. He knew it was you. He pulled his phone from his pocket. “Picture message huh?” He thought to himself with a little smirk, he knew that meant trouble but he couldn’t help himself.

He had to open it now. He had gotten the handwritten letter that you had stuck in his bag and he had to admit he had never been more in love with you, it was the little things, your words had meant so much to him only making the future for him more clear. He swiped the message to open it. He could feel his cheeks turning red. Little drops of water cascading across your perfect wet skin made him long to be there touching you gently with his fingers.

“Crosby you good?” A voice pulled him from his fantasy. He swallowed hard. “Yeah, I’m great.” He smirks clearing his throat. Texting you back quickly. “Thanks for the motivation, can’t wait to see you in and out of that dress tonight 😘 gotta go xoxo -Sid” he shoved his phone back into his pants pocket and joined his teammates.

You grab your phone and smile, you knew it was going to be tough waiting for him tonight.

Once 230 rolled around you turned on the tv, you had thrown on one of Sidney’s penguin shirts and sat down on the couch getting ready for the game. Pregame was on so you listened to them talk and show the team on the ice before it started.

God you wished you were there. But you knew it was safer for everyone right now for things to be this way. The game began. The guys looked good, even though The Caps would score the first goal it wouldn’t take them long to even the odds. Before the end of the first they would score another goal going into intermission leading 2-1. The game continues, each team trading goals. It was a close one coming down to the wire, one goal standing between them and The Caps, but suddenly with less than 2 minutes left in the third period The Pens scored two empty nets one of them scored by Sidney.

You jumped off the couch screaming. “YESSSS!” The Pens win 6-3. You knew Sidney would be relatively happy with that win. You look at the time you needed to get ready.

You had a little time because he’d have to shower and do post game interviews but you would want to look perfect so you had to get going, you set your iTunes to shuffle and begin to dance around the bathroom as you got ready for your night out with Sidney.

He got off the ice and headed directly to his locker he’d shower, and change into his suit he planned to wear to dinner tonight, then he would do post game interviews or whatever they needed from him today.

“Damn Crosby, hot date tonight?” Kris asks him with a wink. “You know I do.” Sidney blushed. “She’s a lucky girl.” Kris jokes. “Pretty sure I’m the lucky one, but thanks.” Sid says, the team giving him major shit for his heart eyes. In his suit and tie he did his post game dodging most questions regarding his look. He checked his watch, he had to get home.

He finished his last question, thanked everyone and headed out to his car, and home to you.

Somewhere around six you heard the door open. “Babe I’m home.” You heard Sid call up the stairs to the bedroom.

You couldn’t help but smile. “Be right down my love.” You call putting in your earrings, checking yourself once more, making sure everything was perfect. You walked down the stairs, seeing him almost immediately at the end wearing a suit with a bow tie.

You almost fell down the stairs at the sight of his gorgeous smile. “Oh my God, you look absolutely beautiful baby.” He says getting his first look at you. The dress fit you perfectly, paired with what he knew was that black lace bra and panty set he loved, and those pair of red bottom Christian Louboutin heels that he had gotten for you that you pulled out just for certain occasions like this where you wanted to drive him crazy. you smiled.

“Thank you baby. You don’t look so bad yourself.” You say reaching the bottom of the stairs and meeting his perfect lips almost immediately. “I’ve been dying to do that all day.” He admits. “Well you are more than welcome to do it again, sir.” You chuckle leaning in to kiss him again, longer and more passionate this time. a quiet little moan leaving his lips. His hands finding your waist, and then sliding down your ass squeezing tightly.

You couldn’t help but smirk into his lips. He pulled his lips away slowly. “Should we go?” He asks, still unable to take his eyes off of you. You adjust his bow tie, Both knowing that if you don't get going soon you would never make it to dinner. Especially at the rate you two were going. “Yes, we shall.” You say taking his hand, which had finally come off of your ass.

He opened the door for you and you headed out to the car and a long awaited night out.

All the way to the restaurant the two of you talked, Sidney resting his hand on your thigh. Chatting about the game and about life and silly things the guys had said during the game or some of the fights.

It was refreshing to sit back with him and just talk and laugh. When you arrive at the restaurant he gets out first and opens your door extending a hand to help you out. You gladly take it and he pulls you out and into his awaiting lips. You giggle. “After you my love.” He says taking your hand as you two head into the restaurant where the two of you were escorted to a back corner table already set with flowers and wine.

You look at him and he grins. “I called ahead.” He winked at you kissing your cheek and pulling out the chair for you. “Thanks honey.” You smile. He takes the seat across from you.

A waiter comes out and pours the wine. Sidney orders for the both you like he sometimes does when he wants you to know he’s in charge but still wants to be sweet. You don’t mind it actually, it might even turn you on. You catch him staring at you over your glass of red wine.

“What is it?” You ask, setting down the glass and taking his hand, rubbing your thumb over the top of it. “just thinking about how lucky I am to have you in my life, this year has been crazy and I know I would not have gotten through it as easily without you." He pulled your hand to his lips, kissing it slowly. He hasn't taken his eyes off you since you walked into the restaurant. You blushed.

He was right this year had been intense to say the least. But somehow together you both had managed to navigate these uncertain waters. "

And I feel like I don't tell you enough how much I love you and how much I appreciate everything that you do for me, for us." Wow he was getting pretty sentimental tonight, this was a side you did not see too often. "Sid I love you more than anything, I hope that you know that and never ever forget that. To me whether we are visiting your family back home, or taking a trip to some place fabulous and romantic, or staying in and practicing slap shots in the garage because of the covid lockdown, every little moment with you is everything that I have ever hoped and dreamed of."

You say trying your very best not to get all teary eyed and ruin your perfect makeup. And in that last sentence Sidney had heard everything he had needed to hear.

He smirked. The two of you finished your dinner laughing over him telling you about Kris giving him a hard time about his attire for the night in the locker room after the game today. You laughed, leave it to Kris to give him a hard time."How was everything?" The waiter asks coming to clear your plates. You smile looking at Sid. "Everything was excellent." You say. "My compliments to the chef." Sidney adds. "Wonderful to hear, I will get the check, pay whenever you are ready."

The waiter grins as he whisks the dirty plates away into the kitchen returning later with the check. The two of you sat quietly for a few moments before he pulled out his card and paid for dinner. He stood from the table extending his hand pulling you and up into his arms."thank you for tonight." You whisper into his lips, kissing him gently.

"You're welcome babe, but I'm just getting started." He smirked, smacking your ass on the way towards the door. "Sidney Patrick." You giggle giving him a look as you swat at his hand. He chuckled.

As you two exited the restaurant headed to the car, wrapped in each other’s arms giggling. A family walked past you on the sidewalk. The little boy who was probably about six or seven was wearing a Sidney Crosby jersey.

Your eyes lit up because you knew Sid was about to make his little boys whole year. “Hey nice jersey.” He says a wide grin on his face as the family turns to see the pair standing behind them.

The little boy gasped. “Mom mom that’s Sidney Crosby, he’s my favorite hockey player ever.” The little boy squealed with excitement. You could tell Sid was blushing. “Come on sweetie let's not bother Mr. Crosby, clearly he’s on a date honey, it is Valentine’s Day.” The mom protests. With a wink in your direction. “It’s no problem really.” You say ushering Sid off your arm and into the wide eyes of this little boy.

“What’s your name?” Sid asks, kneeling down to be eye level with this little boy. Looking up at you as you watch him in awe. “Michael, but my friends call me Mikey.” The little boy says still awestruck. “Well Mikey what would you say if I signed your jersey, maybe took a picture with you?” Sid asks. Mikey gasps. You thought he was going to faint. You couldn’t help but smile at the little boy's sweet admiration for your boyfriend.

“Omg omg that would be so awesome, then i can show all my friends, they aren’t going to believe that i actually got to meet you.” The little boy's excitement only grew. Sidney pulled a marker from his pants pocket. He always kept one on him for exact moments like this. Mikey spun around so Sidney could sign his jersey and then his mom took their picture together.

You couldn’t stop looking at him. You knew you loved him before but this, this right here solidified everything that you had ever felt about him. You loved this man with every fiber of your being. “We really appreciate you doing this.” The mom said.

“Really it’s nothing I love meeting my fans, especially the little ones..” He smiles, shaking Mikey's hand. “Thanks Mr. Crosby.” Mikey says, throwing his arms around sid’s leg. “No problem, pal.” Sid was beaming. “Alright Mikey let’ go now, let’s let Mr. Crosby get on with his night.” His mom says. “Alright.’ He whines. “Bye Mr. Crosby.” Mikey says with a wave. “Bye Mikey it was nice to meet you and your family.” Sid says taking your hand and walking the rest of the way to the car.

There was no way that little grin was coming off his face tonight, you smiled. “You know he's never going to stop talking about this night.” You laughed.

Sid grinned as he opened the car door for you. “I know, but you know i love it.” He says. “I know you do babe, i know you do.” You say leaning over in the seat to kiss him, your hands running through his thick dark hair, he moans quietly.

He knew it was time to get you home , for the best part of the night. He deepened the kiss biting your lip, pulling it between his teeth. You moan. His hand on your thigh sliding further and further up our dress. “Yup it’s time to go.” You moan into his mouth.

“Say no more.” He says a wildly sexy grin on his lips, his honey eyes glowing in the moonlight. He put the car in drive, his hand never leaving your thigh.

Sidney was driving as fast as he could without pushing the speed limits too much. He was doing his best to get you home, without causing a scene. The way you were looking at him with dark lusty eyes was killing him, your fingers intertwined with his on his lap, the little part in your lips as you spoke to him, trying to keep him focused on the road, and getting you both home safe.

A red light. He leaned over and kissed your neck. “I can’t wait to have you.” He whispers in your ear. suddenly flipping the switch from thoughtful caring Sid; who had just signed a kids jersey and made his entire night, to naughty Sid; who had nothing on his mind but getting you out of this dress and worshiping your body in all of his many devious ways.

You grin. The light turns green and he hits the gas desperate now to get you home. You lean over in the seat running your tongue down his neck, he groans gripping the steering wheel, you nibble on his ear. “How bad do you want me Sid?” You moan in his ear. If you weren’t careful he was liable to wreck this car. He cleared his throat trying to refocus. “Oh baby girl, you have no idea.” He growls, his free hand all over you.

Thank god you were almost home because it was quickly getting out of control, but every once in a while the two of you liked to lose control together. You began to push your luck with hands all over him. Unbuttoning his shirt, sliding between his thick thighs. “Fuckkkkkk.” He groans biting his lip. He had never been more grateful to see his house. He parked the car as quickly as he could, getting out just as fast.

You unbuckle quickly meeting him as he opens the door, you step out and immediately into his arms, his lips kissing you savagely. You moan between his lips as his tongue parts your lips and meets yours.

He pulls your body in close to his. You groan loudly at the friction between you.

“Let’s get you inside and out of this dress.” He growls as he pulls you towards the door. You giggle, following his every move. You step in front of him, opening the door, pressing your ass into him, he moans.

You smirk as you enter the house. “Unzip me” you whisper. You feel his long fingers caressing your back as he does what you ask.

You practically melt into his touch. Sid could hear you kicking out of your heels, his favorite heels, leaving them at the end of stairs. He followed your lead, stepping out of his shoes and socks leaving a trail of clothes all the way up the stairs as he followed you to the bedroom.

“Sidney Crosby where are you?” You call from the top of the stairs. “I’m right here baby.” He says walking up behind you smacking your ass before putting his hands all over you.

He laced his long fingers under the straps of your dress sliding them off your shoulders letting it hit the floor, you step out of it leaving it there on floor. He shrugs out of his already mostly unbuttoned shirt leaving it there on the floor with your dress.

He grabbed your waist and you pulled him into the bedroom. He reached over, closing the door, locking it behind him. He stepped away from the door into your awaiting arms. He groaned as your hand slid down his already unzipped dress pants.

He heard you chuckle. “So ready for me already, baby.” you moan into his lips running your fingers down his length. His breathing grew increasingly heavier. “I’ve been waiting for this, for you all day.”he growls slamming you up against the wall.

You sigh, incredibly turned on by his forcefulness. He kissed you wildly, devouring you. His hands exploring your body. You were slowly melting into him, but you needed to take back control, even for just a second.

“Well then let’s do something about that then.” You say with a wild look in your eyes as you spin out of his grasp trading places with him so he is now up against the wall as you drop to your knees in front of him. “Babyyyy.” He whines his hands running through your long hair.

His breathing became more erratic with the thought of your perfect mouth around his cock.

You pull his dress pants over his hips, his boxers following right behind, until he was fully on display for you. You lick your lips and groan as he watches you. You look up at him with those beautiful lusty eyes that drive him wild. He begins to fidget beneath you with anticipation. “Easy baby.” You moan as you pressed him against the wall, your tongue swirling around him.

“Mmmm.” He moaned loudly biting his lip. You hear his head drop back against the bedroom wall. He pulled your hair roughly begging you to pick up the pace, you gladly obliged. Your lips, tongue and fingers eagerly guiding him to his climax. He closed his eyes as he guided you to his release. “Ohhhhhh fuckkkk baby I’m so close.” He moans tugging at your hair once again, a fist full of your long locks in his hand.

He tucked his long finger under your chin making you look up at him as he would cum, lost in those honey colored eyes. . He moaned your name loudly, closing his eyes savoring every single moment of this high. You continue with your tongue until he’s finished and you swallow.

You wipe your mouth, savoring his taste. “God you taste so freaking good,” your words were almost a moan as they left your lips as you pressed your body into his, begging him to taste you, begging for him to make love to you, to feel him inside you.

You lick your lips still tasting him. He had this wild look in his eyes that you knew meant you were about to get your world rocked. There weren’t many nights you got to see him like this but when you did it was like heaven on earth. He again had his hands on your body, fingers gently grazing your soft skin, sending shivers up your spine.

“You know this is my favorite bra” his words were but a whisper on his lips. It was a simple black lace bra with matching panties but something about them paired together had always been Sid’s favorite. “I know.” You are breathless. “But as much as I love it, you won’t be needing it on any longer.”

He winks reaching around to unhook the bra, tossing it to the floor, burying his face in your chest, you moaned loudly as his tongue massaged your nipples as he lay you back on his big bed.

“Sidneyyyy.” You moan loudly, he grins as his long slender fingers slid between your thighs. “You also won’t be needing these.” He smirks, you whine.

The underwear joined the matching bra somewhere on the floor. Your breathing became heavy. “ mmm mmm mmm, already so wet for me baby girl.” His voice was a low raspy growl.

His fingers circling your clit slowly. It definitely didn’t take much to get you going especially when it came to Sidney. He kissed down your body, licking and biting marking what was his, but only in places you would see. You could feel his warm breath on your thigh. You groan begging for some kind of release. His soft lips replaced his long fingers.

You moan loudly, as you lace her fingers in his thick dark hair, pulling it gently, he groaned against you. He could tell you were close. He slowed his movements, teasing you. “Sid please.” You beg him. He chuckled. “As you wish my love.” He smirked those beautiful eyes meeting yours.

Adding two fingers and his tongue he sent you into your release. You pulled his hair, arched your back into him. “Fuckkkkkkkk Sidney!!!” You moan as he’d make you cum. He licked his lips. “My favorite taste.” He kissed up your body again until he reached your lips making you taste yourself.

“Mmm.” You moan as his tongue finds its way into your mouth.

“I need you inside me.” You beg for him. He loved the sound of you begging coming from those innocent lips. He’d gladly give you anything you ever asked for. He sat up and you looked down at him watching as he pumped his length a few times before sliding gently into you.

“God you feel so good inside me.” You moan as his thrusts increase, you arch your back just the way you know he likes, he groans in satisfaction. He buried his face in your neck biting your collarbone, hands all over you leaving scratch marks on your skin.

You wrap your legs around his waist pushing him deeper, causing you both to moan out loud. Your nails leaving scratch marks down his muscled back and neck. He watched your faces, drawing out his thrusts, slamming into you again and again.

Sweat dripping from his forehead onto your chest. A little sigh left your lips. “I’m so close.” You whisper as his lips devour yours. He grabs your thigh, so he gets the just right angle, hits the just right spots. He groans madly as he feels you tighten around him. “Ohhhhhhhh Sidneyyyyy right there…..” you call out his name as you cum, legs shaking around him, never slowing the motion of your hips allowing him to get off on your moans, your release, your body.

He tossed his head back as he would cum inside you. He groans as he pulls out, you whine at the loss of contact as you lay breathless beside him. He pulled you into his arms, his fingers tracing, slow circle on your skin as he looked into your beautiful eyes.

Both of you silent as your breathing evened out.

He reached out touching your face. The darkness in his eyes had disappeared and you knew that naughty side of him had been tamed at least for tonight, you smirked.

“I love you so much.” He whispers. His lips gently brushing against yours. “I love you too Sid, so very much.” You whisper back, placing a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose. You smiled as he cuddled into you. You knew it wouldn’t be long before he had fallen asleep.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, babe.” He says his words were a gentle whisper. “Happy Valentine’s baby, I love you.” You say back running your fingers through his hair. Moments later he was quietly snoring besides you.

You chuckle. You get up from bed and use the bathroom. Returning to bed you put on Sid’s shirt and snuggle into his already sleeping body.

“I love you so very much Sidney Patrick Crosby.” You kiss his collarbone gently and try to fall asleep.

He rolls over wrapping his arms around you tightly. You couldn’t help but smile.

You could feel the sun coming in though the window onto your skin. You opened your eyes slowly.

Sidney was still sound asleep next to you. You grin. Running your fingers gently over his face, gently moving a piece of his thick black hair from his forehead. He was perfect in every way.

He opened his eyes slowly “good morning, beautiful.” He grins instantly noticing how good his shirt looked on you. “Good morning, babe. You say.

Pulling his face to yours noticing almost immediately that your left hand had gained a new piece of jewelry overnight. “Sidney what the hell is…” you pulled your hand from his face looking down in awe of this ring it was absolutely stunning; a diamond band with a gorgeous, very large single princess cut diamond in the middle.

You just stared at him demanding answers. He pulled you to him taking your hand with your new ring on it.

“I love you more than anything in the world, you make me the man that I am today, you put up with my crazy superstitions and routines, you never question anything you just do and it would make me the happiest man on this planet if you would be my wife.” He says.

You’re speechless.

“I love you so much and I couldn’t imagine my life any other way, of course I’ll be your wife.” You practically squeal.

Throwing your arms around him and kissing him wildly. Someday you were going to be “Mrs. Sidney Patrick Crosby.

The possibilities were endless when you two had each other. “So future Mrs. Crosby, what do you say we sleep in late and then tell the world the good news.” He whispers, kissing your lips slowly pulling your hips into him, unbuttoning the buttons of his shirt you had on. “I’d say that sounds like a pretty great idea.”

You say getting lost in his lips and the potential of this amazing future with the greatest man you had ever known. ♥️

THE END !

#sidney crosby #sidney crosby x reader #nhl imagine #Sidney Crosby fanfic

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1ddiscourseoftheday · 4 years ago

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Sun 14 Feb ‘21

For a man we haven’t really seen in ages Harry sure is managing to fill the news pages! We did get a picture of him today though, and it is truly one of those thousand words type pictures-- he’s wearing a bucket hat that’s a frog!! Amazing! A frog hat for our fave frog faced boy, we love to see it. But I guess we weren’t MEANT to see it, so some of those words were discourse-- apparently it wasn’t meant to be shared publicly and the person who did so could get whoever originally had it in trouble, so people are asking that it come down. It’s a picture from the DWD set-- the movie officially wrapped yesterday, and today we get a last day group pic (Harry in a baseball jacket), the controversial pic with the girlies (Florence and others) in matching kids frog hats, and someone from the set showed off their impressive pile of gifts from the cast, tagging Harry on a gorgeous white bouquet. Will we get a wrap on the Holivia story too or are they keeping that one in their pocket for more headlines down the line? Time will tell, though for narrative coherence I hope they follow through on the love triangle we heard so much about with some sort of dramatic conclusion to it all; the awkward confrontation between Harry and Jason the tabs were predicting doesn’t seem at all likely to me, but I look forward to the Jason/Olivia reconciliation storyline rolling out for sweeps week er, I mean for Jason’s TV show’s new season or the Grammys or something else equally obvious.

Beauty Papers Magazine revealed their surprise-- a (very) limited edition reprint of their Harry issue with a variant cover (and what a pretty picture it is!). The website probably would have crashed no matter how many they offered but seriously, only 450 copies? Yikes. “Not all countries will be able to buy” they said and friends, they were not kidding; even aside from there only being enough copies for about .01% of the people who wanted to buy, the website instantly and comprehensively crashed and stayed down for most of the day. Why such a very small run? I wonder if the fact that half the announcement is about the tracking info they plan to offer may be a clue-- they did bite off more than they could chew with the original issue, they spent months fielding emails from fans wondering where their expensive magazine was and begging for tracking info.

Harris Reed was interviewed about his upcoming fashion show and spoke of Harry, naturally, saying “I’m fighting for beauty in fluidity and Harry just really understands the way gender can be restrictive.” He also said that he has chosen to revert to using he/him pronouns, reminding us all that using male (or female) pronouns does not conflict with having a gender fluid, non binary, or other trans identity.

Niall followed up last week’s “Miss you (heart)“ tweet with a Valentine’s Day appropriate “Love you (heart)“. Is it meant for us? Thank you?? Zayn tweeted about UFC (the Mixed Martial Arts spon-con thing), and Gigi posted a bunch of pics of her and Zayn being snuggly, as well as one showing his hands holding a ‘dad’ mug, a pic of their Vogue cover, and a picture from the basement arcade birthday party. Maya posted a picture of her and Liam and he has short hair, but remain calm, it appears to be from 2019. Eleanor posted a pic of… some feet walking beside hers. And a selfie of herself with BFF Ella. Meanwhile, Project Defenseless participants are still working away, winning the song a spot on Most Requested Live again, and trending “just wanna be loved by you” for VDAY.

#harry styles #hogging up all the news bandwidth and thank goodness look how little everyone else is giving us #niall horan #liam payne #zayn #14 feb 21 #gigi hadid #maya henry #eleanor #harris reed #holivia #why do Niall's messages just read like NO :)#or like he actually means his GF? somethng about it just ... does not feel like it's directed at us

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itisa-profoundbond-sarandom · 4 years ago

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Destiel, Buddie: the great love patterns and one failure.

I'm going to highlight the patterns of baiting and good storytelling. Chim sounds like the Sam to Dean!Buck. Cas!Eddie and Claire/Jack!Chris.

WARNING: not a negative post, this is from a destielshipper!POV looking to something so beautiful like 9-1-1.

As someone pointed out: if Eddie was a girl they would've already get laid. Same thing with Dean if Cas was a girl.

(my gifs)

We know Dean and Buck like to get laid with many girls...and have some homo-joke-scenes with guys.

Dean Winchester being a disaster bi (since S1)

(+ Josh and roomate!Albert - I know someone ships it xD) What I really enjoyed with Buck/Abby is the meaning of the storyline. D (who likes older women also) and B always get the part of having fun, and when it comes to express their feelings, not all their crushes understand their soul and they don't always admit those with themselves.

Abby: I think I was afraid that If I came back, I would become that person again. Because I missed you. I wanted to see you. But I didn’t trust myself.

Buck: Because being there, being with me, you might lose yourself again?

Shannon: I can’t fail him again, or you and I won’t. I’m still learning how to be someone’s mother and after that maybe I can be someone’s wife.

Eddie [to Bobby]: [...] she wanted a divorce. And I’m still mad. How stupid is that? I’m agry at a dead person and at myself because I forgave her for everything, and that wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough.

Buck [to Maddie]: You’re never the one getting left behind. You’re the one who leaves. You don’t know what’s like to watch someone you love walk away.

Dean [to Lisa]: When I do picture myself happy...it’s with you.

Lisa: You've got so much buried in there, and you push it down, and you push it down. Do you honestly think that you can go through life like that and not freak out? Just, what, drink half a fifth a night and you're good? Dean: You knew what you signed up for.

Lisa: Yeah. But I didn't expect Sam to come back. And I'm glad he's okay. I am. But the minute he walked through that door, I knew. It was over. You two have the most unhealthy, tangled-up, crazy thing I've ever seen. And as long as he's in your life, you're never gonna be happy. That came out so much harsher than I meant. Dean: It's not your fault.

Who does understand them? The best friend. Cas and Eddie are the best friends to who they talk to, they can feel judged by but it doesn't really matter (or it DOES); they trust each other and feel safe.

you gave up an entire army for one guy (dean)

thank you, for not giving up

stupid for the right reasons

maybe you could’ve come at it a little differently

The Abby-phase was very important 'cause B wanted to stop to think about just the sex part and really connect with the person, doin' romantic stuff, even VDay; feelings were in the game.

(He literally asked to the firetruck!girl to see her again...but she said no. Ali? She acted like a Lisa.)

B really tried to find someone and always felt left behind. D had two important relationships, one with Cassie (yeah, that's fun) and I liked her -but he couldn't have a black girlfriend, right(?). Always felt left behind, by his father, by his brother, his mother’ memories were a lie.

When we first see Cassie, they didn’t see each other in a very long time and they get a reunion during a case.

Much like Eddie and Shannon.

(not saying also this...but....this)

Lisa and the weird-and-bad-written-originally story with Amara...who knew Dean bc of his 'dark' side. (Amara has found Cas and Dean’s profound connection and Dean was scared by her darkness connected to his anger and loniless).

At one point Amara will find Dean thanks to Cas's heart just my reply to go fast (while Cas was possessed by Lucifer- an annoying bitch who is used as a destiel bait)

We know Buck for his autodiagnosed sex addiction with women and Eddie as a married man with a son and wife not in the picture...and the episode- I'm so sorry, but the beginning of S2 with Buddie can't be described as two hets - there are tropes.

We start to fall for them and Chim with Maddie, wait- Sam!Chim and Eileen!Maddie.

Sam and Eileen’ first episode is basically a blind date on a hunt. They flirt and make a badass duo, she's deaf and super sassy and they're so sweet together. Many start to ship it asap.

I cried with Madney asap.

What does Maddie do since Buck start talking about Chris and Eddie? Yeah.

What does happen in Fanfiction with Sam (he’s a Maddie here) and when Saileen comes back on S15?

Bros shipping their bros with their best friends, mirroring them.

Madney have Buddie patterns.

Saileen is presented as a Het!Destiel parallel...and they can kiss.

Sam asks Dean if he could start thinking about settle down with someone who understand the life, another hunter. Eileen is a hunter. Cas is an angel - the one who raised him from perdition and got lost for his beautiful soul/hunter.

I LOVE that Eddie can be just a friend to Lena and Marjan, basically (I hope not to see this ruined in the future).

Now, over the line: Dean has a mother figure in Bobby!Jody and Jody is shipped with Athena!Donna (also good friend to Dean) and he's got a sister figure in Hen!Charlie.

[Jody, Charlie]

(Jody and Donna have many daugthers figures and a spin-off who hasn't been picked bc too many poc girls, queer girls and two not young women with perfect bodies.)

Bobby!Jody helped him with his mother-plot-fiasco (that was really bad) and I loved Mary before s12.

[I'm having fun thinking about this connections, leave me alone if it'ss just a great big illusion]

I forgive you / of course I forgive you

personal space / personal space

Destiel, uncle!Sam and Jack

Destiel, uncle!Sam and Claire

*love is in the air*

oh and beside the MurphyPatterns (Klaine, Bryan&David) we do have the KripkePatterns also (Timeless, The Boys 2 3 )

One of the most loud BI!Dean eps

I’m ready for some domestic Buddie and Madney

Eileen and Cas back from the dead

Just to make you all laugh after this big movie, remember the chars:

what a destiel scene always looks like

THE END:

Yes, C*W and Fox aren’t the same, and yes producers can make the difference. all SPN writers WEREN’T the problem, directors neither, not to mention the actors.

C*W thrived on Destiel for 12 years, building a very good story that could’ve show two men accepting the love they deserved....but they failed, erasing every other (lgbtq, poc, disable) characters.

Fox doesn’t need more viewers but they WILL gain more of them showing Buddie because representation of a M/M ship with BI/PAN (I see Pan!Eddie) it’s a huge thing for TV and it matters. I always see gay love not many other possibilities, with Murphy mostly, he can make the change again.

A reminder to what C*W did

#destiel #buddie #I just want my couples to be happy

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kpoptrashlord-007 · 5 years ago

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Guardian;; KHJ

Yandere!Hongjoong x Reader

Word Count;; 1.5k

Genre;; Yandere | Creepy | Dark

Summary;;

Soulmate AU! Jk, jk.

"I've got no strings to hold me down, to make me fret, or make me frown. I had strings, but now I'm free— there are no strings on me!"

Request;;

Can you do a Yandere hongjoong secret admire for your vday posts?? Ty💜💜

Main Masterlist || ATEEZ Masterlist

What you saw in the idiot confessing to you was beyond Hongjoong. He knew you were a nice woman but enough was enough. You were meant to shoo him away, not humour him. Engaging in a conversation would only encourage him. You weren't stupid, Hongjoong knew this, and yet he had to watch you lean in and rest your hand on the idiot's arm, smiling to please whatever societal norms restrained you.

The idiot continued to gush. Your touch fueled him, emboldened him. There was a smugness to him, hidden beneath his sweet facade. Hongjoong could see it. Even if you were blind to the idiot's tricks, Hongjoong wasn't. You were playing into the idiot's hands like putty. He had you right where he wanted you and you were oblivious to it.

Men like that were scum that had no right to walk this earth, let alone speak to you.

It took every ounce of his self-control not to storm over there and take care of the problem there and then. Patience, however, was a virtue and it was one of the few virtues that Hongjoong possessed. The idiot would have to leave eventually so he'd bide his time.

The night continued on and on as did the idiot, endless in his blabbering. With every drink he consumed, he became a little bolder. His hand rested on your knee, sliding up on occasion and slipping between your thighs, higher and higher with every recurrence. Hongjoong saw the way you shifted in your seat, the way you straightened in shock and the way your mouth fell open before you shoved the idiot's hand away.

It was times like this that Hongjoong knew you needed him. He was your silent guardian, always watching over you from afar. You didn't know what was best for you, not when it came to love. You were prone to making foolish mistakes. You always found yourself in these predicaments, forced to humour and tolerate trash because your 'friends' thought they knew what was best for you.

They didn't know you, not like he did.

But that was okay because Hongjoong was there each and every time. He was there to clean up after your heart broke into a million little pieces. He was there to remove anyone that made you uncomfortable or that he didn't find savory. He was there to teach a lesson to anyone that crossed you. He was there to take care of your problems.

He was there to love you, wholeheartedly and without hesitation.

And love you he did, especially at times like this when you needed his support most. The idiot made another move on you, sidling closer to you in the booth you shared. You looked nauseous to Hongjoong and he didn't blame you, not with how close the idiot's foul mouth was to your face. He could only imagine the bullshit he was spewing.

His words were just as pointless as his existence.

Then he saw the confirmation he craved. While the idiot turned to speak to the server, you gagged behind your hand and moved to the edge of the booth while downing your glass of water. Your discomfort as you squeezed your hands together in your lap was clear as day to Hongjoong.

Was it not obvious to the idiot? Could he not see how much you hated being in his presence? Perhaps it was the unshakeable bond you two shared, but Hongjoong could always sense your real emotions. You couldn't fool him, not when it came to matters of the heart.

Not when you were a half to his whole.

There was a chill in the air and it only added to his frustrations. He had expected you to wrap this up already. You knew just as well as he did that this idiot was a waste of time. Hongjoong hadn't dressed warm enough to be waiting outside for so long. Enough was enough, it was time to cut the idiot loose.

Dating wasn't part of your usual routine and Hongjoong hated change, especially when it involved you. There was no reason for you to be out this late. Had the idiot even considered that you would have to walk home after his pathetic attempt at wooing you or did he seriously think you would go home with him? Hongjoong's blood boiled at the mere thought. That idiot was a real piece of work and he deserved everything coming to him.

His attention refocused on you. You were standing now, attempting to leave. The idiot's hand slipped around your waist, copping another feel. His slimy little hand rested on your ass, squeezing when you gasped.

He was touching you. That disgusting, perverted, creepy idiot had the audacity to touch you. That piece of shit scumbag was touching something that wasn't and never will be his. That fucking entitled asshole was touching Hongjoong's soulmate.

He saw red.

No matter how important this date was to either your family or your business or your friends or whatever fucking reason you were forcing yourself to tolerate this lewd behaviour, that asshole had no right to touch you. If you didn't do something, Hongjoong would have no choice. He had to defend your honour and dignity. It was his responsibility as your man.

There was a determination in his step as he emerged from the shadows. He didn't care if he made a scene. That idiot would pay for this disrespect with his blood and that was a promise. He was so focused on you both that he almost missed the car barreling down the road. With an exasperated huff, he stopped and flipped the driver off as they sped past honking their horn. When he reconnected his gaze to the scene in the restaurant, he felt a certain sense of pride overtake his prior fury.

There you stood before the idiot, your palm striking against the taut flesh of his face with an immeasurable amount of disgust painted across your features.

The idiot's face was reddening with every passing second. You turned on your heel and headed toward the exit of the restaurant and he was following you, yelling. Other patrons were watching, a mix of curiosity and contempt growing amongst them. While a few people started to stand, pointing angry fingers at the idiot, the server decided to step in and halt his progress with a wave of the check. Still the idiot yelled after you, trying to brush past the server to harass you further as you made a quick dash out the doors.

There was nothing except pure rage building within Hongjoong at the sight of your tears streaming down your face.

He couldn't bare to see you cry, not while the idiot that hurt you was still walking and talking and breathing without feeling the full consequences of his actions. You needed him more now than ever, however. You weren't thinking straight and you were emotionally compromised. There would be plenty of time to take care of the idiot later and, for at least a little bit, the restaurant staff would be handling him.

What you needed right now was your guardian and Hongjoong would sooner die than let you down.

So he followed you home just as he always did. Anything could happen to you on your way home. It wasn't safe out on the streets this late at night. There were too many creeps around these days. As your protector, you were his number one priority.

He would never let you walk alone.

He kept his distance and made little stops, even going as far as taking small back roads to give you some space. He didn't want you to see, hear, or sense him in anyway. You had been assaulted by that idiot's unwanted advances and you needed time to process it without any disturbances. Of course, he still stayed close enough to intervene if needed.

He was always close enough to step in if you needed him to.

Much as he expected, you went straight home. After undressing and washing up, you went to bed. No distractions or pastimes tonight, he noted. That was how distraught the idiot had made you. That idiot had taken your smile and as such, a punishment was in order.

Luckily for you both, there were no restraints binding Hongjoong. If it meant you were protected, he felt limitless. When it came to those who harmed you, he was the judge, jury and executioner. While you had socialised, he had researched. He had all he needed now to take care of that blight on society. With you safe in bed, he set to work.

You would never have to worry about that idiot again.

– ♡ – If you enjoyed this, please consider liking, commenting, reblogging, and/or following! Thank you!

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antiadvil · 5 years ago

Text

We’re Getting Married!

PG13, 2.8k

video title: We’re Getting Married! uploaded: December 8, 2019 by AmazingPhil Description: We talk about our relationship with each other, our audience, and appropriate creator/audience boundaries. Sorry we couldn’t find a wedding venue that would fit three million people!

read more or read on ao3

A/N: *** indicates a jump cut. this is filmed in Phil’s bedroom bc in an imagined universe with joint content I can fulfill all my nostalgic fantasies oh also warning for discussion of the vday video if you're not into that

“Hey guys! Today I’m here with a very special surprise guest-”

Dan’s voice interrupted Phil from off camera. "Are you not going to put me in the thumbnail?"

Phil laughed. "I mean, probably."

"So I'm not much of a surprise."

"I guess not. Anyway, we have a special announcement-"

"Phil. They read the title. Why do your video intros always assume no one reads your titles?"

"Hey! I haven't decided what I’m going to title it yet."

Dan came into frame and flopped onto the bed with him. "Sure you haven't. You know exactly what will get this video the maximum number of clicks, you goddamn-"

Phil threw his hand over Dan’s mouth. “Stop.”

He yanked it back almost immediately. “Did you just lick me?”

Dan smiled. “Maybe.”

“You’re disgusting. I’m going to go wash my hands with bleach,” Phil said, climbing off of his bed.

“Can you bring me a glass of water?” Dan called after him. “I’m thirsty.”

Phil called something back. It was entirely bleeped out.

***

“Count of three,” Phil said. “One, two, three-”

“We’re getting married!” Dan’s normally large hand gestures were carefully constrained by the glass of water in his right hand.

“Some of you are probably confused-” Phil said.

“Some of you are probably hyperventilating,” Dan interrupted, “And I’d like to say that while you’re valid, get a life that is not vicariously lived through our relationship. Please.”

“So let’s do a bit of background first,” Phil finished. “So I think most of you who follow us know that Dan and I met on the internet in 2009 and then we met up later the same year, which is when we filmed the first Phil is not on fire.”

“What you probably know if you watched my coming out video is that the whole time, we were super gay for each other,” Dan added. “What I didn’t really get into is that we’re still super gay for each other.”

“Wait, we are?”

Dan shrugged, setting his water on Phil’s nightstand. “I mean, I’m still super gay for you.”

Phil frowned. “I don’t know if I’d describe it that way.”

“Well, this is awkward,” Dan muttered.

“Anyway, we’ve been dating ever since then, and we thought we’d give a quick little recap of our relationship for those of you who just got here. So, I already mentioned that we met in 2009-”

“Obligatory disclaimer, we don’t endorse travelling a hundred and fifty miles to meet a guy who’s four years older than you that you met on the internet, even if you were the one who stalked him first.”

“Hey!” Phil laughed.

“But anyway,” Dan continued, “Phil and I met in a public place before going to his house and it turned out he wasn’t an axe murderer, so everything was fine.”

“What would you have done if I was?” Phil asked.

“You know, that’s a really great question. I maybe should have thought a little bit more about that.”

“So, we’re not even five minutes into the video and the biggest takeaway is that you should never have come to meet me?”

Dan nodded. “Our entire relationship was a mistake. I’m sorry, everyone, time to go home.”

“So poor life choices aside, we met in 2009, filmed Phil is not on fire, and just generally hung out a lot.”

“Hung out is one word for what we spent most of our time doing, but since this is Phil’s channel, let’s leave it at that.” Dan winked.

“Hey!”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Look me in the eye and tell me that is not what we spent most of our time together doing.”

“That is not what we spent most of our time doing.”

“Okay then, if you say so-”

“I do-” Phil insisted.

“Then we’ll leave it at that. We visited a lot, but, full disclosure, long distance sucks, which was a big factor in my decision to attend uni in Manchester. You probably already know how that went down.” Dan rolled his eyes.

“Apart from the uni part, though, it was really nice being so close by, so we moved in together in 2011.”

“And then there was what you will probably know as the Valentine’s day video,” Dan said with a grimace.

“Dan and I don’t really feel comfortable discussing the details of that whole thing because that video was very personal to us.”

Dan smiled in Phil’s direction. “I still have a copy.”

“But seriously, if you’re not me or Dan, I’d really appreciate it if you’d remove any copies you’ve posted on the internet and delete any copies you may have saved, out of respect for our privacy.”

“Believe me, I know nothing I can say will make that video disappear. My entire life is just proof that anything you put on the internet is permanent. And there’s nothing anyone can do about it now, but I want people to understand that all the speculation about my sexuality that came up when that video resurfaced really hurt me. Don’t do that. Seriously. If you think a celebrity or a YouTuber or whoever is hiding their sexuality, just let them. You don’t know what’s happening in their lives, and honestly, you’re not entitled to, either.”

Phil nodded. “Also, that was a really hard time for us as a couple as well as personally. I don’t think a lot of people realize the pressure being constantly under a microscope has on a relationship, which is one of the reasons we chose not to share our relationship and why we still don’t feel comfortable sharing everything about it.”

“Which is fine! Neither of us are ashamed of our relationship. We’re not hiding anything. We just aren’t really looking forward to reading newspaper headlines about our relationship, which really doesn’t seem like it should be news. Like, it’s our relationship, not the entire world’s relationship,” Dan explained.

“Really, it seems so weird to us that people even care about it. Like, it’s flattering and all, don’t get me wrong, but it was also a bit scary at first when we weren’t out.”

“It’s like, remember in my coming out video how I mentioned that when that guy said I gave off a bi vibe it really scared me? Having strangers on the internet tell me that my relationship with Phil was obvious was scary when even my parents didn’t know. The shipping was fine. It was mostly the speculation that was scary.”

“But we made it.” Phil put his hand on Dan’s leg and smiled.

Dan smiled back, almost forgetting the camera in the room. “God, there were some days I thought we wouldn’t. But we did. And I love you.”

Phil smiled even wider and swiped at his eyes.

Dan’s smile grew to a smirk. “Are you crying? Oh my god, you are such a dork.”

“Your mum’s a dork,” Phil muttered.

Dan reached for his phone. “I’m telling her you said that.”

“No!” Phil threw his shoulder into Dan’s chest, sending him sprawling against Phil’s bed.

Dan laughed. “Ow. Hey, Siri, call Mu-”

Phil put his hand over Dan’s mouth. “Stop.”

Dan’s phone chirped from the other side of the bed. “Okay. Calling Mum.”

Dan scrambled to reach it. “Oh shit, oh fuck, should I hang up?”

“Dan! You can’t call your mum and then hang up on her.”

“Shut up, rat, this is your fau- Oh, hey, Mum!”

“Hi!” Phil said.

“Oh, hello, Dan! And Phil. Is everything alright?”

“You need to call your mum more often, Dan, if every time she picks up she asks if something’s wrong,” Phil said.

Dan’s mum laughed.

“Shut up, Phil. No, Mum, nothing’s wrong, just wanted to catch up.”

***

“So, I’m never jokingly asking Siri to call anyone ever again,” Dan said.

“Why? Was calling your mum that horrible?” Phil laughed.

“Shut up, Phil. That was your fault.”

“Does your mum watch your videos?” Phil asked.

“Not really.”

“I’m sending her a link to this one.”

“I hate you,” Dan said quietly.

“You too.”

***

"Now, Phil, we've been dating for a pretty long time."

Phil shrugged. "Only like ten years.”

"So, Phil, why did we wait so long for this?"

Phil nodded. "Well, first of all, it wasn't legal for a pretty long time."

"Right. Civil partnerships were a thing in 2004, but I'm lame and traditional, and same sex marriage was only legalized in 2014. That's half of our relationship, for some perspective."

"And, fun fact," Phil added, "Same sex marriage is still illegal in Northern Ireland."

Dan frowned. "That was not a fun fact. That was a very sad fact."

"But it's a true fact," Phil protested.

"Moving on, again!" Dan said. "I also wanted my family to be there, and, well, I'm a mess who didn't even come out to them until like six months ago."

Phil patted Dan's shoulder comfortingly. "You're not a mess."

Dan stared at the camera. "I'm a mess."

"Okay, fine. You're a little bit of a mess."

Dan turned to Phil in mock outrage. “You think I’m a mess?”

“No! I-”

Dan turned back to the camera. “You heard it here, folks. Phil is judging me because I took my time coming out. Phil hates closeted people.”

Phil glared at him. “I’m never agreeing with you ever again.”

“This relationship is off to a great start!”

***

“So back to the original question! Why now, Dan?”

“Well, Phil, now that I’m out to my family we can have a proper wedding, and now that we’re out to our viewers we don’t have to worry about one of our own personal stalkers finding our marriage records.”

“Also, marriage does come with a lot of cool perks,” Phil added.

“Gotta get those sweet, sweet tax benefits.”

“And that sweet, sweet, societal recognition of our relationship.”

“Also, it makes buying a house and general joint property ownership way simpler, which will make it a lot easier to take all of Phil’s subscribers in the inevitable divorce.”

Phil laughed. “What?”

Dan blinked. “Sorry, I didn’t say anything. Did you hear something?”

“Well, I thought I heard you say you were going to divorce me and take my subscribers.”

Dan shook his head, his expression deeply offended. “Why would I say that? Who would do such a thing?”

Phil stared solemnly at the camera. “Gaslighting is a form of abuse.”

“Thank you for the PSA, Phil.”

“Just documenting the abuse I’m currently suffering under so that I can take all your subscribers in the divorce,” Phil said.

Dan frowned. “Okay, I wasn’t going to say anything, but you sounded really serious just then so I now feel the need to clarify that I am not abusing Phil and also, domestic violence is not funny.”

Phil laughed. “No actual abuse.”

Dan sighed. “We’re terrible people, aren’t we?”

“I mean, we’re not terrible people.”

Dan laughed. “We’re just bad people, with terrible senses of humor. That’s so much better.”

“We can edit it out if-” Phil started.

“I mean, it’s your channel-” Dan said.

They stared at each other for a moment before shrugging in unison. “Whatever,” they said, still in unison.

***

“So, Phil, what’s changing for our viewers?” Dan asked.

“Literally nothing. We’ll be taking a short break from uploading-”

“Which I do all the time! So I doubt you’ll even notice.”

“But we’re not going to change the types of videos we upload. This isn’t a relationship channel.”

Dan winked. “As much as you might want it to be.”

“Seriously, though. We’re not even changing our names. Nothing’s changing,” Phil assured the camera.

“But in case it wasn’t clear, here are some FAQs.”

Phil pulled out a stack of notecards and put on his best announcer voice. “Are we invited?”

Dan smiled. “No.”

Phil flipped to the next card. “Kiss!”

“That’s not a question, but somehow, the answer is still no.”

Phil laughed. “I think a photo of us kissing would actually break the internet.”

Dan shrugged. “Really, we’re just being kind to your internet providers.”

“Lester-Howell or Howell-Lester?”

“We already answered that, Phil. You really need to screen these questions better, especially since you wrote them.”

“Answer it anyway,” Phil pleaded.

Dan sighed heavily. “Neither. I would never saddle my child with two last names.”

“Child?” Phil turned to the camera with an exaggerated gasp.

Dan smiled. “That’s all you’re getting. Let the fanfiction writing begin.”

Phil paused. “Wait, so whose last name-”

“Honestly, I was just joking because neither of us are changing our names, but if you want to have a Dan versus Phil to see who gets to name our child-”

“I’m good.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Phil turned to the next card. “Wedding photos?”

“Is that a question or a demand? Please don’t hack my hard drive.”

“Top or bottom?”

“There is no way anyone actually thinks we’ll answer that.”

“Probably not.” Phil flipped again. “And last, but definitely not least, why are we telling our viewers?”

“Well, I think it’s safe to say that we’re telling a lot more people than our viewers. But I never had any healthy models for queer relationships when I was a kid, and if I can provide that, I don’t see why not.” Dan’s voice was surprisingly serious.

“Think of us like your parents,” Phil added. “We’re here to show you how healthy relationships work, but we’re not here to show you everything. Partly because we need some privacy and partly because that would be gross.”

Dan was wincing as soon as he heard the word “parents.” “Phil, Phil, please stop. Do not encourage our audience to think of us as their parents. Did you learn nothing from our tumblr tag? Please never say those words again.”

“Fine, I’ll edit them out.”

Dan shook his head. “You said it, Phil. You can’t escape it.”

“Okay, well, at least give another response so I can decide if I want to keep it in,” Phil persuaded, in the soft, natural, voice he normally saved for off camera.

Dan gave an exaggerated sigh. “Honestly, hiding a relationship is just so much work. Especially a marriage. And you guys are total stalkers. Like seriously. Get a life. Please.”

“That’s better! And much more fitting with who our audience is.”

“Phil, I’m the one who gets to insult our fans. You’re the one who says we love them and appreciate them.”

“We do!” Phil insisted.

“Do we?” Dan asked skeptically.

“Yes.” Phil laughed, staring at Dan in disbelief.

“Kidding,” Dan muttered, flashing a smile at the camera. “Please buy my merch.”

Phil sighed. “Danielhowellshop.com?”

Dan smiled. “Also, while you’re at it, check out my good friend Phil’s merch at amazingphilshop.com!”

Phil stared straight at the camera. “I don’t even know where to begin.”

“You know what, we’re such close friends that we also have a joint merch shop, danandphilshop.com. You could begin there, Phil.”

“Is it too early for a divorce?” Phil asked.

“Yes. You’re stuck with me.”

“Am I really?”

“Just think about the tax benefits. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and remember how much money you’re going to save by marrying me.”

Phil shook his head. “It’s not worth it.”

Dan pouted.

***

“For more videos like this-”

“Phil. We’re never making another video like this again.”

“For more videos not like this, click on my face to subscribe to my channel, click on Dan’s face to subscribe to his channel-”

“I have plans to actually upload a video this year-”

“And for our joint channel, click here.” Phil raised their joined hands.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to edit this video, upload it, and disconnect my internet for at least a month.”

Dan turned to Phil. “That’s not a bad idea, actually. I’m not sure I want to open tumblr for the next six years.”

Phil cringed. “Me neither. Guys, please try not to go too crazy. I lost friends over the protip incident of 2016.”

Dan shuddered. “So many people refuse to talk to us now. I’m not even joking.”

“We appreciate the support!” Phil insisted.

“Just like, maybe on our videos instead of completely random ones,” Dan suggested.

Phil nodded. “Anyway, if you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up, or leave a comment. Like I said, Dan and I will be taking a short break from YouTube and social media for the wedding and honeymoon, but we’ll be back soon with plenty of content.”

“I don’t want to see any of your conspiracy theories about how we’re leaving YouTube out there, I promise it’ll only be like a month.”

“And that’s the normal amount of time between two Dan videos,” Phil interjected, “So-”

“Hey! I said I would upload this year.”

Phil smiled. “Never said you wouldn’t.”

***

“Count of three again?” Dan asked.

Phil nodded. “Three, two, one-”

“Goodbye!”

#phanfic #phanfiction #phan #phan fluff #i feel awkward tagging fics on tumblr #bc obviously i can't use the d*n or ph*l tags #so it's just 10 variants of phan #oops #my writing

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lilacflamesss · 6 years ago

Text

Shattered (Chapter 10)

Smutty Ayahina College AU

Summary: Hinami tries to deal with her sorrows through seeking Ayato out. Ayato can never turn away the girl he loves far more than he should. Two people with unrequited feelings, dealing with them in very different ways. Human AU. (14.9k words)

Warning: This fic contains unhealthy coping mechanisms, heavy sexual content, and plenty of problematic/ dubious things which I absolutely do not condone at all. This is a work of fiction that takes on a more mature, physical take on Ayahina’s relationship as opposed to the typical conventional one. Please feel free not to read this fic if it’s not your cup of tea! Additional trigger warning for stillbirth since this is an add-on to the previous chapters and infidelity.

A/N: I spent so long debating if I should post this and then I decided, hey, why not? Enjoy! There might be a lot of typos and spelling mistakes in here but please just ignore them because I am way too sleepy to proofread them lmao. Please do reblog this and feel free to leave some comments!

Preview:

“It’s going to be okay, Ayato,” she says softly. She pushes him away slightly, just so she can cup his face and stare into his eyes. “It’s going to be okay.”

“It’s not.” He furrows his brows as he speaks. He sighs and closes his eyes. “It’s not going to be okay, Hinami. This is all I’m going to have.”

“That’s not true,” she argues. “I’m sure it’ll get better.”

He pulls away from her, turning away. For a moment, she worries he might leave but instead, he sighs again and sits down, leaning against the cabinet. They’re silent for a moment-- him looking up at the ceiling and her watching him. Ayato shakes his head.

“It won’t. I know it won’t,” he whispers.

If there’s any time for her to say it, she supposes she should say it now. “Ayato, if I say something now, will you promise to take it seriously?”

He shrugs. “I don’t think there’s anything I won’t if it’s from you.”

“If… I say I love you, how will you react?” she murmurs.

He shrugs again, his nonchalant disposition starting to really bother her. “I don’t know.”

“That’s upsetting.”

“Why?”

“Because I kinda do think I like you… in that manner,” she admits.

Normally, she’d be asleep at this time of the day. But she had started a very good book and it’s far too interesting to drop it to go and sleep. In fact, when her phone rang, she’s tempted to ignore it and continue reading. It’s the semester break now and she has no projects or assignments that would require anyone to contact her. She doesn’t even call or text her friends much. Tomoe is rarely on her phone and Hinami doesn’t really have any other friends. She had hung out with Miza and Naki before but she was never really close to them. They were more of Ayato’s friends and when he was with them, she had joined in. But now that Ayato and her barely talked, she doesn’t interact much with them either.

Hinami lets out a sigh. She puts her book down, gets up and walks to her table. Her phone continues to vibrate. The screen is lit and she sees a name that some time ago, would probably have made her very excited. She’s actually surprised that when ‘Big Brother’ continues to flash at her from the screen, she doesn’t hesitate in nervousness, her palms don’t sweat and it doesn’t feel like there’s a change in her heart rate at all. She picks it up casually.

“Hello?”

There are different kinds of sounds aside from Kaneki’s breathing on the other end of the line. She can hear background noises— clinking of glass, laughter and people talking. But she doesn’t hear his voice.

“Big Brother?”

“Touka… is that you?” Kaneki’s voice is soft and haggard.

“No, Big Brother. It’s me, Hinami.”

“Hinami?” he murmurs and for a second, it sounds like he doesn’t recognize the name. A brief moment of silence follows before he coughs and chuckles a little. “Oh! Hinami! What are you doing with Touka’s phone? Did you come over?”

She’s confused for a moment. She checks the phone in the hand. It is hers— Ayato had gotten her that custom-made cover for her birthday in their first year of college. She places it back to her ear. “This is my phone and I’m in my dorm.”

“I am pretty sure I called Touka though,” he sighs. His voice is a little slurred and she’s never heard him like that before.

“Are you drunk, Big Brother?” she asks.

“No, I’m not!”

“You’re drunk, aren’t you? Where are you now?”

“I’m at Miss Itori’s place. Uh… what’s it called again?” He’s louder when he asks for its name, probably directing it at someone else. Whoever is with him, perhaps the Miss Itori he mentioned, answers him, though her voice is too muffled for Hinami to make out. Hinami freezes. A ‘Miss’. He’s at a woman’s place. What does this mean? Who is this Itori anyway? Does Touka know about this?

“Big Brother, where are you again?”

“I told you. I’m at Miss Itori’s place. It’s a bar called Helter Skelter.”

Hinami relaxes. So Miss Itori is probably the owner of the bar he’s at now. She’s still a little suspicious, though. He seems well-acquainted with her. Hinami wonders if Touka knows about this person.

“Big Brother, it’s late. Don’t you think you should be going home—” She’s cut off as she hears some crashing noises, followed by loud voices talking over each other. She tries calling for Kaneki a few times, but there’s no answer. The call continues on without being cut, but Kaneki doesn’t seem to be on the phone anymore.

Her heartbeats might not have picked up just now but now they’re racing. She doesn’t get a response from him at all and she knows that he’s in a shady and probably really dangerous place. Something might have happened to him. Without much hesitation, she takes her coat and pulls it on. As she leaves her dormitory, she pulls up the map on her phone, searching for directions to the place he had mentioned. She wonders if she should inform Touka about it. The last time she had talked to Touka was the day they had gone for lunch together three months ago. After that, she hasn’t seen or heard from her. Touka will probably figure that something is up if she calls her. Hinami really didn’t want to worry Touka, especially not if it turns out to be nothing at all. She’ll check up on Kaneki and then she’ll decide what to do.

Helter Skelter is a bar in a more quiet part of town. It’s a pretty secluded place. She had to walk through an alley before she could arrive at the entrance. The moment she steps into the area, she already dislikes it. She wonders why Kaneki would even be here. It looks like the kind of place someone like Ayato would hang out in, not Kaneki.

A small lump rise in her throat. Thoughts of Ayato continue to surface in her mind, even at the most random of things. She thought that it would be easier to forget him. After that night they had, it felt like she had gotten to understand his side of things before and that she had gotten the closure she didn’t manage to when he broke it off with her the first time. She believed that it would have made it easier for her to forget him, but it didn’t. She couldn’t stop herself from pulling him back when he was about to leave. They did it twice in the morning even though she had promised herself that night was their last. She didn’t want to let him go. She didn’t want to lose him.

But she did and now she has to live with it.

She shakes her head before she pushes the door and slides in. The bar doesn’t seem too crowded and it’s a lot quieter than she had expected it to be. Things did seem pretty wild when Kaneki had called her but now it looks like everything had died down. There were a couple of others seated around the place, but Hinami finds him at the counter immediately, hunched over and holding a half-filled glass in one hand. In front of him, on the other side of the counter, stands a woman. She’s dressed pretty erotically. Even though she’s wearing a dress that Hinami assumes probably falls to the floor, the back is completely bare and her cleavage is emphasised a lot from the low-cutting collar as well. She’s without a doubt beautiful, despite her heavy make-up. Her hair is bright pink. It’s probably dyed, but it’s a colour that seems to suit her a lot.

That woman is probably Miss Itori.

Hinami walks over to Kaneki and sits on the seat beside him, lightly shaking him. “Big Brother!” she hisses.

Kaneki groans but other than that, there’s not much response. Hinami tries again, shaking him harder.

“He drunk quite a lot today,” the woman says. “I’ve never seen you around before. Such a beautiful girl. Are you perhaps the Touka I keep hearing about? I’m Itori. I run this place. Could I get you anything to drink?”

She really does seem close to Kaneki. Hinami finds herself being wary of this woman. Even if there’s nothing suspicious going on between Kaneki and her, this woman herself is just too shady. “No, it’s okay. I’m good. And I’m not Touka.”

“Oh?” Itori seems surprised. “Kaneki has never mentioned another beautiful girl in his life before. Are you perhaps… his side bitch?” There’s a glint in her eyes as she speaks.

Hinami can probably throw up from the thought. “No, he’s my Big Brother.”

“How adorable! I didn’t know he has a little sister,” Itori laughs, clapping her hands together. “The two of you look nothing alike, though.”

She could admit that they’re not related, but somehow, she feels that it might only bring about more complications. Instead, she shrugs and changes the topic. “I really should bring him home now, so if you’d excuse me.” She turns back to him, trying to shake him again.

“That’s easy,” Itori says. Hinami pays no mind to her, though she can see the woman moving about from the corner of her eye. She’s still shaking Kaneki when it happens. One moment, everything is normal and the next, his head is wet and he’s jumping to his feet. Hinami looks over at Itori, who’s holding an empty glass in her hand with a smirk.

“What’s the big deal, Miss Itori?” Kaneki groans aloud. “I’ve had a long day.”

“Your dear little sister here is trying to take you home but you’re not waking up so I thought I’d help her.”

“Huh?” Kaneki frowns and then looks to Hinami, taking his seat in the process. “Oh, why are you here, Hinami?”

“You called me and then you stopped talking all of a sudden and I heard some weird noises so I was worried and I came to check up on you. Is everything okay?” she asks.

“Everything is fine,” Kaneki insists.

“So what was the noise?”

“I don’t know.”

“Nothing really happened. If you’re the one he was calling just now, some fight was happening and someone happened to bump into him in the process and he turned his attention away from his phone. He must have forgotten about the call,” Itori sighs. It seems like she’s about to talk some more but a middle-aged man appears and sits down three seats away. Itori excuses herself and goes to him instead.

“Come on Big Brother, let’s go home already,” Hinami sighs, tugging on his arm.

“Let me finish this drink first,” he murmurs. She watches him. At the speed in which he’s sipping the drink, it’s going to take a long time. “You can go back first if you want.”

“No, you’re too drunk to be going home by yourself,” Hinami sighs.

“I’m fine. I’m not that drunk.”

“You were asleep when I came in,” she points out.

“I had a long day at work and I came here for more information. I’m not so drunk that I cannot return home on my own, Hinami,” he says.

“Drunk people do stupid things. You’re not fine.”

“That sounds like experience,” Kaneki chuckles. “Didn’t think you were the type to drink. What happened?”

“It was only once,” Hinami admits, turning away from him. She hesitates before she speaks again. She’d rather not tell him about this, but if Touka knew what was going on between her and Ayato, she won’t be surprised if Kaneki does too. Maybe she might get something out of being honest with him as well. Her feelings for Kaneki aside, it’s also true that she misses the time she was able to confide in him about everything, back when they were still close and he really felt like an older brother. Siblings confide in each other a lot, don’t they? It’s the impression she got from the books she’s read before. “I lost my virginity.”

Kaneki’s silent for a moment. He takes a sip of his drink and places it down before he starts to rub his temples. There’s a slight grimace on his face. “Touka is right. You’re not a little kid anymore. I need to stop thinking that way,” he sighs.

“What do you mean?”

There’s another moment of silence from him as he stares at his glass, rubbing the sides with his thumb. His face seems thoughtful. Perhaps he’s remembering the conversation he and Touka had when she had told him that. He places it on the countertop, crosses his arms and lets out a sigh.

“You and Ayato… when Touka told me the kind of relationship the two of you have, I didn’t like it at all,” Kaneki admits. Hinami feels her cheeks heat up immediately. She never wanted Kaneki to find out about this, but she had never told Touka to keep it a secret from him either.

“Big Brother, about that,” she says quickly, “we’re not doing it anymore.”

“Yes, but you’ve already done it, haven’t you?” he laughs. “You’re already over 20. You’re an adult now. Even though to me you’ll always be that little girl I had to look after at one point, I have to move on from that thought and accept that you’re all grown up.”

“Is that so?” Her cheeks are probably still red. Yet, this embarrassment doesn’t feel like those in the past which had her timid and sheepish around Kaneki. It feels like Kaneki is doting on her too much and Hinami simply has no idea how to deal with all the attention he’s giving her. She really has changed after all.

“Ayato is…” Kaneki pauses to take a sip and then stare blankly at a wall for a second or two before continuing, “Ayato and I have our differences. Things have happened in the past that can’t be undone. I don’t think I will ever forget all the pain he has put Touka through and he definitely will never forget what I did to him. Even then, he’s really worried both Touka and I a lot the past few years. I tried my best to look for him and with my resources and my job, I could, but Touka wanted to give him space so I had left it be. Still, she continued to worry about him like the caring big sister she is.”

Kaneki chuckles to himself and takes another sip. It feels weird sitting with him and talking to him about this of all things. Hinami doesn’t know how exactly to take all this. She remains silent, not knowing what to say. She’s supposed to move on from Ayato, but here she is talking about him and thinking about him again.

Just like every single day since they’ve separated.

“Despite all that happened,” Kaneki continues, “he’s a good person deep down, Hinami. I know he’ll take care of you so please take care of him too. The two of you suit each other.”

And now, her heart starts to race and it’s almost hard to breathe. The place is well-ventilated and it is far from being crowded and stuff. But even then, it’s suffocating. Kaneki’s words hang in the back of her mind like an added burden. The two of you suit each other. She feels like choking. She feels like being honest. No. No, we don’t suit each other. She can’t suit him, especially not after how much of an idiot she had been around him and how much she had unknowingly done to hurt him.

“We’re not together anymore,” she admits.

“Huh?” There’s genuine surprise in his voice as he turns and looks at her. Hinami wonders if Touka had told him about this too. Maybe he’d forgotten, or maybe Touka really didn’t. Either way, he seems completely taken aback and Hinami can see it in his eyes that he doesn’t believe her.

“We stopped doing that. We promised to stay on as friends but we barely spoke after that unless we really need to. It’s awkward being around him. I can’t even look him in the eyes when we pass each other in hallways,” she sighs.

“You two broke up?”

“Didn’t Big Sister tell you?”

Kaneki frowns. “Touka? She didn’t tell me anything.”

“Big Sister told us the kind of relationship we had wasn’t healthy and she’s right. We’ve only been using each other and it just became too complicated for either of us to bear,” Hinami says. “I shouldn’t have done it. Because Ayato was in love with me, maybe he really wanted it but I was never in love with him so I should have objected to it.”

Kaneki’s frown doesn’t falter. He simply stares at her for a long while before speaking. “I think you’re misunderstanding a lot of things.”

It looks like she’s getting herself into another lecture. First with Touka and now with Kaneki.

“Like what?” Hinami asks.

“Well for starters, are you sure you’re really not in love with him?”

It’s almost instinct for her to deny any attraction to Ayato, especially when she’s talking to Kaneki. But she hesitates. The truth is, she still doesn’t know what kind of feelings she has for him. He’s important to her. Living without him right now makes her feel empty. She still longs to touch him again despite the long night they had shared with each other before separating.

Kaneki watches her for a moment, but it seems like her silence gave him the answer he needed. He turns away and takes another drink. This time, he chugs the remaining liquid down, finishing it all in one go, before slamming the cup on the countertop.

“You’re still not all that grown up after all,” he muses.

“Big Brother?”

“It’s cute how lost and confused you are right now,” Kaneki chuckles. “But listen to me, Hinami, you are in love with him.”

This time, her instincts take over. “No, Big Brother, I definitely am not in love with him! Ayato isn’t even my type and I’m not really into hot guys either. The one I love is you and—” She stops, cutting herself off immediately. But it’s too late by then. She’s said it and Kaneki clearly heard it.

It’s all over now. He found out. They won’t be able to keep this relationship any longer. It’s going to be too awkward. Maybe he might even find her strange and creepy, to fall for the older brother figure in her life. Maybe he’s going to be warier around her now. Maybe he’s going to cut her off completely. She doesn’t want that— not at all.

Ayato’s already gone. She doesn’t want anyone else to leave.

She expected a weird expression on Kaneki’s face but when she gets the courage to look up at him, he only seems thoughtful. He doesn’t even look shocked. In fact, he’d seem more surprised when she said she wasn’t in love with Ayato.

“Big Brother, about that—”

“Hinami,” he cuts in, sighing softly. His voice is soft and gentle, just like the Big Brother she had always known and loved. “You’re not in love with me.”

“No, Big Brother, I was— I am. My feelings for you are real,” she says. She can’t bear to look at him. It’s too embarrassing. She’s terrified. She doesn’t know what this would mean for them. She doesn’t know how he’s going to handle it. “I know this might come as a big shock but I hope this doesn’t change anything about us. I won’t come between you and Touka or—”

“It’s not really a shock, not right now at least,” Kaneki interrupts again. “Touka had told me a while back that she suspects you liked me and well, it was a shock back then. Maybe you might have those feelings for me at one point and maybe they were real back then but I know for a fact that it’s not the case now.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Do you remember that rainy night when Ayato came over to our place? You had thought something happened to him and you came here too, right?”

Of course, she remembers that day. It was the day that changed everything.

“Yes.”

“Do you remember what happened when you entered my place?” Kaneki asks.

She takes a moment to think hard and she realises she doesn’t. She’d been a mess at that point. She was so worried that she hadn’t cared about anything but Ayato. She was trying her best to look for him. Nothing else registered in her mind except that she had to find him and she had to make sure he’s safe. She can’t remember anything, aside from finding Ayato in the living room and pulling him into a heated make-out session. She wonders if Kaneki was talking about that. He had caught them after all.

“That was… I thought he was going to do something to himself and I was worried. I lost myself in the worry and kissed him and then things started getting more heated and that’s all!” Her voice gets muffled the more she speaks. It’s too embarrassing admitting all these to Kaneki, even though she knows he saw it all.

“Not that,” Kaneki sighs with a slight annoyance lingering in his eyes. “I mean when you first stepped in. You couldn’t be bothered to give me a second glance, you were not listening to what I was saying and you pushed me away a couple of times. It’s like you were possessed or something. All the time I was holding you, you were trying to pull away from me. It’s quite hard for me to believe you’re in love with me when you acted like that.”

“I was worried, Big Brother.” She doesn’t know why she’s arguing with him. What’s the point of continuing this conversation? What does it even matter who she likes? Kaneki is married and she has no chance with him. Ayato doesn’t want her anymore— he shouldn’t.

“In my line of work, I’ve seen a lot of worried people. I can tell from your eyes. You weren’t worried about any random friend. There’s something different about him— something special,” Kaneki says.

Kaneki’s words are so cheesy and absurd. Hinami knows it must be the alcohol talking. She shouldn’t take any of this seriously. She hopes he doesn’t remember this conversation when he wakes up the next day. She knows that she’s the kind to forget whatever had happened when she’s drunk. Till now, she can’t recall the first time she slept with Ayato. He’s able to remember it so he’d told her about it, but since she can’t remember, the experience still feels foreign, like she’s watching a scene from the lenses of a third party.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she huffs. “You’re too drunk.”

“Drunk or not, I’m not blind and I wasn’t drunk then,” Kaneki argues. “Hinami, listen, when I saw you the other day, I realised that you’d do anything for him without even realising it.”

“He’s just a good friend, Big Brother. Why can’t I be this dedicated to a friend? He still is important to me,” she insists.

“Why are you so desperate not to be in love with him?” Kaneki asks, genuinely interested. He scoots closer to her and raises an eyebrow. “Won’t it be easier if you really are in love with him? That complicated and weird relationship you had won’t be complicated anymore, will it?”

She wonders why herself. She remains silent, thinking about it. She’s yet to come to an answer when she feels Kaneki shifting closer and she turns to see his face merely inches away from hers. He’s close enough for her to feel his breath on her, for her to see the minute details of his face and for her to bask in the complete attention he’s giving her. Kaneki has never looked at her like this before and he’s never been this close to her before. This is everything she’s ever wanted.

Or so she thought.

“Big Brother?”

“Can I ask you a question?” he asks slowly, voice deep as he takes his time to articulate every word. He sounds… sexy.

She forces the lump down her throat. Her palms are starting to sweat a lot. “What is it, Big Brother?”

“If I’m not married right now, what will you do?”

Her eyes go wide at this. Kaneki’s close enough for her to see herself reflected in his eyes. She looks like a total idiot-- confused and somewhat flustered. She considers his question, genuinely pondering over it. If he’s not married right now, she can do whatever she wants. If he’s not married, they won’t be cheating or betraying anyone. If he’s not married, there’s nothing stopping her from getting what she wants.

If I can’t have you, then I’ll have to live with it.

She feels suffocated. Her eyes are burning.

One day, someone amazing will come into your life. They’ll sweep you off your feet and they’ll love you deeply as well.

She feels like crying.

That person will make you forget all about Kaneki.

Her stomach churns. She feels like throwing up.

When they come, trust me, you will be happy and you’ll never be alone again.

This is everything she ever wanted, right? Even as she keeps reciting it in her head, it hurts all over. Her hand moves to her chest, clutching her top.

So even if it might be hard, you have to stay strong and wait till that person comes, okay?

She made a promise to him.

Ayato…

“No, I--”

Kaneki looks away and she stops. He raises his head. His face lights up, as if he recognises someone from behind her. “Oh, Ayato?”

Hinami freezes. He’s right behind her. God knows how long he’s been there. Kaneki had been watching her. He wouldn’t have noticed it either if Ayato had been there earlier on. He might have seen them; he might have seen them being so close. She can’t even start to imagine how it’ll feel for him to see her and Kaneki sitting this close, looking into each other’s eyes. He might get the wrong idea.

He might think something is going on.

She doesn’t want him to think that way at all.

“Ayato! This isn’t what it looks like!” She’s up on her feet, screaming as she turns around. Only, she doesn’t see Ayato. The only person before her is the old man sitting a few seats down, who’s too drunk to pay any mind to her, and Itori who was serving him. Itori looks over at her and raises an eyebrow and Hinami turns away immediately, glaring at Kaneki. Her heart is still racing in her chest. She’s breathing hard. Sitting in silence now, Hinami realises just how unsettled she had gotten from that small incident. Kaneki, on the other hand, is sitting upright and watching her with a victorious expression.

“Big Brother, what was that?” she hisses.

“You got really worked up over him,” Kaneki muses.

“I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea! What if he tells Touka about it?” Hinami cries out. Kaneki raises his eyebrow at her in complete disbelief and he’s right to feel that way, she supposes. Touka hadn’t crossed her mind at all. It wasn’t the thought of Touka that had prompted her to say something. It was the thought of Ayato seeing them and getting the wrong idea. Somehow, for some reason, Hinami hadn’t wanted Ayato to think that there’s something going on between her and Kaneki.

What is this feeling?

“Well whatever you say,” Kaneki sighs. He gets up, slamming a couple of notes onto the countertop. “I should go home now. Touka would probably still be up waiting for me.”

He sways as he walks and Hinami knows that she really shouldn’t let him go off on his own, even if he isn’t driving. She gets up and follows after him.

“I’m coming with you. I’ll send you home,” she says.

“All the way home?”

“Yeah.”

“Ah but he is--” Kaneki pauses, frowning for a moment before he smiles and nods. “Okay. Thanks, Hinami!”

“This is boring,” Ayato says, amidst his yawn. Beside him, Touka nods in agreement. Despite their boredom though, both siblings continue to watch the action movie playing on the tv. Ayato has no idea what’s going on anymore. The plot was lost to him halfway through the movie. The actors and actresses are pretty good looking but there’s only so long before he starts losing interest in watching hot people do the same stunts over and over again. His mouth itches for a stick but he’s made a promise to himself not to smoke in Touka’s house. “Sis, why aren’t we in bed again?”

“You can go to sleep if you want to. I’m waiting for Kaneki. I have no idea what that idiot is up to so late in the day,” Touka says flatly, eyes still glued to the screen. Even though she’s looking in the direction of the television, she looks preoccupied. Something must be bothering her.

“What’s so special about the gem they’re protecting, again?” he asks.

Touka shrugs. “I don’t know. I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Then what were you doing?”

“I was thinking about stuff,” Touka admits.

“Stuff?”

“You, mainly.” He looks over at her. Even though she had started talking about him, she’s still not looking at him. The two of them are silent for a short moment before Touka sighs and slumps further in her seat. “How are you doing?”

He knows where this is going the moment she asks him that question but he chooses to feign innocence. “I’m fine.”

“I find that hard to believe when you keep coming here to sleep over almost every night,” Touka points out.

“You want me to come home more, don’t you?”

“I do and I’m really glad you do come back frequently,” Touka says, though her voice betrays her bitterness. She turns and looks at him, frowning. “Why don’t you just move back in here then? You’re wasting money on rent.”

“Not a chance,” he scoffs.

“Why?”

“Why? Because…” Ayato pauses. He had immediately discarded the idea of moving in; it had been almost instinctive. It would be financially easier on him if he simply moved back home. He and Touka aren’t on bad terms anymore so there’s nothing keeping him apart. He had broken up with Oohashi and she had left the place, which meant he’s just alone in there. Hinami and him are supposed to remain as friends, but she still keeps her distance from him. She’s not living with him anymore.

But what if she comes back?

He brings his knees up onto the couch and hugs them tightly, eyes returning to the tv screen. There’s nothing going on much in the film now. The main characters are having a heated, intimate moment after narrowly escaping danger with their lives— a very generic and boring scene.

“I need space for my fishes,” he says flatly after a long time of silence. Touka’s sigh comes immediately. Glancing at her from the corner of his eyes, she sees her shaking his head.

“There’s enough space here for your fish tanks,” Touka says.

“Fine. I can’t smoke in here with Ichika around,” he snaps.

Touka frowns. “Then you can just drop the habit entirely.”

“Never happening.”

“You could do it outside the house. No one would have a problem with that,” Touka points out. He falls silent again, trying to think up another excuse. When he’s silent, Touka smirks and continues, “You worried that you won’t have the privacy to bring girls home or something?”

“No,” Ayato snorts. “I don’t even bring any home.”

“Sure you don’t.” Touka doesn’t sound like she believes him and she would be right on that aspect. He does bring girls home, but it’s never a frequent thing. Aside from Hinami, there were only two others times this year and they were with the same girl, whom he’s very sure isn’t going to appear before him anymore.

“Maybe I should consider moving,” he relents. Maybe it’s for the best.

“What if Hinami comes back then? You gonna ask her to live here too?”

He tries his best not to react much, but his body language must have given more away than he intended it to. When he turns to Touka, she’s smirking at him victoriously. He can’t help the way his throat tightens up or the way his heartbeat picks up when she mentioned Hinami. He doesn’t have an idea what kind of expression he has on right now. But even without him saying anything, Touka has it all figured out.

He could really use a stick now.

“She won’t come back,” he says. She shouldn’t. He shouldn’t let her.

“You sound really disappointed,” Touka chuckles. “I didn’t tell you about this at all but a while back, I met Hinami. We talked a lot. I got to know her better.”

“I know. She told me.”

“She did? I thought you guys weren’t talking anymore.”

“I met her the day after to pass some of her work to her. We talked a bit,” he recounts. “Hinami told me that you told her everything, even the things I don’t want her knowing. Why did you do that?”

“I wanted her to know. It isn’t fair that she only knows half the story,” Touka says it frankly. He knows from her tone that no matter what he tries to say or do, Touka won’t change her mind. To her, this is the right thing.

“She got hurt by it.”

“Knowing that we were hiding stuff from her also hurts her. At least with this information, she’s given the chance to come to terms with it herself and move on afterwards.”

“I hope she gets over it quickly,” he murmurs. “I don’t want her being held back by this.”

“Really? You don’t want it at all?” Touka snickers. “The thought doesn’t appeal to you at all? Hinami thinking about you every day, every moment of her life? Don’t you want to be that important to her as well? Oh, you’re turning red.”

His cheeks are burning indeed. He feels terrible about it but Touka isn’t completely wrong. It never used to matter to him what kind of relationship they had as long as he could be close to her. Maybe he really was acting selfishly all along. Sometimes he finds himself wondering: was everything really about making her feel better or was it about making himself feel better? What does it matter how she feels if he could sleep with her? He can’t be her boyfriend but he had her in bed, he was her first and he was the one she’s only ever been with for now. Hinami’s a popular girl and a lot of guys would die for the chance to do anything with her; but it’s only Ayato who’s been able to touch her, kiss her and fuck her almost every night when they were together. It was a good arrangement for him. He had nothing to lose.

No.

He shakes his head. No. That isn’t it. That’s never been it. He doesn’t want to think that way, not even to comfort himself.

He doesn’t care about those other guys. It wasn’t supposed to be about him. It was supposed to be about her. It was supposed to be about making her feel better. Just thinking about all this is making him feel really sick. It’s too tiring to think about it. He doesn’t have the energy to do it. Maybe if he could smoke something now it would be good. Perhaps he should head back to his apartment that night instead of staying here. Touka might be fine with him smoking on the porch, but he doesn’t have any cigarettes with him. He had made a vow to himself that Ichika should never see him with them. He doesn’t even know why he did that. Pretend as he might, the fact still remains that he’s probably the worst person she’s associated with right now.

“Ayato.” He turns to his sister when he hears her voice. Touka isn’t smiling anymore. Her face is more serious now. Her brows are furrowed. She’s leaning towards him a little. “Hey, I was just teasing you. Ayato? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” It’s obvious from his tone that it’s a lie but Ayato couldn’t care much about it. He’s with Touka. He has nothing to hide from her.

“You know, I’m actually glad I had that talk with Hinami,” Touka admits with a sigh. She scoots over to him so they’re now seated beside each other, arms touching. “We talked about a lot things. She told me stuff about you I didn’t know as well.”

“Like what?” Ayato can’t think of something about him that Hinami would know which Touka didn’t. Hinami doesn’t know anything about him. He’s never told her anything about himself. He never wanted to worry her with his problems, especially when she has her own issues to deal with.

“You know, about Dad.” Touka’s a little hesitant as she speaks. Their father is still a sore topic. Even when they had made up, she hadn’t brought it up and neither did Ayato. He was the reason they both fell out completely in the first place. As much as he hadn’t confessed out loud, Ayato is happy to be reunited with his family. He doesn’t want them to fight again. Bringing up their father was too much of a risk. But here Touka is mentioning him. Ayato isn’t sure if he should keep the conversation going or end it before things got bad. Touka doesn’t end up giving him a choice though. She simply continues talking. “It feels a little weird saying this but, I always thought it was my fault, you know. If I hadn’t told him about your accident, maybe he’d still be here. If I hadn’t said it over the phone, maybe it wouldn’t have been that big of a shock. Maybe I could have done things differently. If I hadn’t fallen for Kaneki—”

“Don’t,” he cuts in. “None of those are your fault, especially not the last one. Kaneki is… good for you.”

He sees a small smile surfacing on her face. “Yes, he really is good for me. He’s so important to me, you know? I’m happy I met him. I’m happy to be married to him. I can never ask for a better husband. But when I’m missing Dad I sometimes find myself wondering if he’d still be around had Kaneki and I not gotten together. If Kaneki wasn’t there with us, the accident wouldn’t have happened. Dad wouldn’t be dead. Maybe… I should have gone there myself, without bothering Kaneki. Or if I hadn’t only thought about myself. Or—”

“If I hadn’t gotten into a fight with those boys, you wouldn’t have had to come to fetch me. If I hadn’t been an asshole and picked a fight with Kaneki, he wouldn’t have pushed me. In the first place, if I hadn’t caused Dad so much stress in the beginning, his health might have been better. There are so many reasons all those things happened, Sis, and when you look at the chain of events, there’s nothing suggesting that you were the cause of it,” he says.

“So Hinami was right,” Touka murmurs. “You do blame yourself for it.”

It sounds pathetic when Touka says it like that. Ayato scowls and turns away from her. “It’s not that. I don’t blame myself at all. I’m just saying that if you want to find the cause of the accident, it’ll be me so you don’t have anything to blame yourself for.”

“It’s not your fault, Ayato.”

“It’s not yours, Touka.”

Touka laughs a little. It’s easy for them to say such things. Telling the other that they’re not at fault isn’t hard at all. But admitting that they themselves hadn’t done anything wrong would be harder, especially after three years of punishing themselves for it. It’s been a while since their father had died, but neither had moved on from this tragedy, simply clinging onto whoever they had left by their sides after it all went downhill— Touka to Kaneki; him to Hinami. They hadn’t had each other when they needed each other the most. But now, maybe they could make amends.

“I hadn’t been to Dad’s grave since the time you brought me after I got discharged from the hospital,” Ayato admits.

“I go there every Sunday,” Touka says.

“Then, is it okay if I come along as well?”

Touka smiles again. “Sure. I’ll be happy to have some company.”

He’s on the verge of dozing off when he hears the doorbell. Touka gets up and starts heading over. It’s probably Kaneki. She had been up waiting for him anyway. Touka hadn’t said anything about it but Ayato could tell that it’s gotten late enough that she was starting to worry about him.

Ayato picks up the remote control and starts changing the channels. There’s really nothing on the tv. Everything is such a bore. He hears voices in the background but he doesn’t pay much attention to it. Touka seems to be annoyed with something. Kaneki must have been out doing something stupid and Touka probably feels stupid for worrying about him. The thought puts a small smirk on his face.

And then he freezes, right as he hears a familiar voice.

Ayato’s throat clenches up. He’s staring right at the tv but nothing on it seems to register in his mind. He’s too focused on that voice— Hinami’s voice. Why is she here? Why is she coming back with Kaneki? What were the two of them up to so late in the night? His mind jumps straight into the worst possible solutions, images that make him want to throw up surfacing in his mind.

No. Kaneki would never do that. He’s too loyal to Touka for anything to happen. He might not get along with his brother-in-law, but Ayato knows that he can at least trust Kaneki when it comes to this.

He hears footsteps and he gets up, walking forward a little. He stops the moment Touka and Kaneki come into sight.

“I don’t know why I wait up for you sometimes,” Touka scoffs, marching on ahead as Kaneki trails after behind her.

“I’m sorry, Touka. Listen to me. I promise you I wasn’t out drinking! I went to see Miss Itori for some information and she offered me some drinks and that’s about it.”

Their petty argument over that continues as Touka heads towards her bedroom and Kaneki follows after her. He can’t hear them the moment the door slams shut but he’s sure that they’ll make up in a matter of minutes like they always do. Kaneki and Touka argue over the silliest of things, but he supposes that is what makes them such a good couple in the first place. No matter what the argument is, Ayato knows that they will never fall apart and they know that too.

“A-Ayato?” He hears that voice again, this time in a loud, sharp gasp.

Here he goes. He turns his head towards it and she comes into view. Hinami is staring at him in disbelief. Her fists clench harder around the strap of her small bag. She looks so pale-- like she’s seen a ghost.

“Hinami,” he greets. He tries to keep his voice as steady as possible but he still sounds like he’s gotten pins in his throat. He wants to pretend he doesn’t care about her— he shouldn’t anymore— but just seeing her face is enough to send him spiralling down into the depths.

He’s really a hopeless case, huh?

Hinami stares at him for a couple of heartbeats, before her eyes widen and she turns away. Her face reddens. “W-what are you doing here?” she asks quickly.

What a ridiculous question. This is his sister’s place. This is his home. There’s nothing weird about him being here. It’s weird that she’s here. But instead of pointing that out, he simply shrugs. “I wanted to see my niece so I decided to come over and it got late so I’m staying the night.” That’s a lie. But there’s no way he’s going to admit to Hinami that he couldn’t bear staying in a place that reminded him so much of her, that he felt it would be easier to get over her if he surrounded himself with other people rather than live in silence with nothing but cigarettes and alcohol to distract him from his own thoughts and memories.

“I see,” she murmurs. She fiddles with her bag, still refusing to look at him. Her hair falls forward and he can’t see her face any longer. He can’t tell if she’s still blushing. Probably not. Even if she is, he shouldn’t think too much about it. She’s likely just embarrassed. Nothing more.

“What are you doing here?” he asks. He’s stupid. He doesn’t know why he’s continuing the conversation. He shouldn’t do this. He should just walk away right now and pretend she isn’t here.

“Big Brother was drunk so I thought it would be better if I escorted him back home,” she admits.

“Oh, so you were with Kaneki all the while, huh?”

Hinami stiffens and she turns to him immediately, her fingers grasping her bag strap so hard that her knuckles are turning white. Her face is completely red and her eyes are wide and teary. “Nothing happened between us I swear!”

Her outburst is so sudden that even Ayato is taken aback for a moment. Hinami looks so flustered; she turns away the moment she realises her words. He doesn’t think her face can get any redder but it does. This is starting to get really weird. She’s never blushed this hard before, not even when they were having sex.

He stops himself there. That’s the last thing he needs right now. Picturing Hinami in bed isn’t going to get him anywhere good. What he needs to do now is to leave her, go to his room and get to bed. He’s right about to leave when Touka returns, sighing as she rubs the back of her neck.

“What a pain… I’m sorry about the bother, Hinami. Thank you for accompanying him back,” Touka sighs.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Hinami admits softly. “He was drinking so I got too worried about leaving him alone.”

“Yeah. I don’t think he’s that drunk but you can never be too safe. People do stupid things when they’re drunk after all,” Touka laughs a little.

“I-I know. That’s why I followed him back,” she whimpers. Her body’s stiffer again and Ayato knows exactly what she’s thinking about right now. God, if he hadn’t been an idiot that night and gave in to her, all this wouldn’t have happened. They’d still be just friends. His feelings for her would just be a simple one-sided attraction instead of the mess that it is right now. There would be nothing stopping him from being by her side. There are so many things that went wrong because of that one night. Touka is right; people do stupid things when they’re drunk.

“I’m going back now,” Hinami says. “It’s good to see you, Big Sister.”

Big Sister? When did Hinami and Touka get that close? Ayato turns to Touka, hoping for some answers, but Touka’s attention is still fixed on Hinami. She’s frowning right now. Touka glances at the clock on the wall and then back to Hinami.

“It’s too late for you to be walking back by yourself,” Touka argues. “Stay the night.”

Hinami’s eyes widen. There’s no hiding that the suggestion horrified her. “No, it’s fine. I don’t want to impose!”

There’s also no hiding that she glanced at him when she spoke. Though she really had nothing to worry about. If she does take up the suggestion, he’d leave for his apartment on the pretence that he has something urgent to tend to.

“You’re not imposing. We don’t have extra rooms so you can easily just sleep in Ichika’s room. I could get a futon out for you. It’s not that hard,” Touka says.

Hinami glances at Ayato again before she shakes her head. It’s either she’s not bothering to be inconspicuous and wants him to know how uncomfortable he’s making her feel or she’s too flustered that she’s doing it subconsciously. At this point, Ayato doesn’t even know which one he prefers.

“It’s fine. I really should be getting back to my dorm before it closes,” she says.

“Oh, is that the case?” Touka murmurs thoughtfully.

Ayato glances at the clock. Hinami is lying. Her dorm had closed hours ago. He really ought to point that out. But if he does, Touka might force Hinami to stay here. The streets aren’t that dangerous right? He’s been out there at this hour before. It’s not like he’s gotten killed or anything before. But Hinami’s a girl— a really pretty girl at that. There’s no way it will be safe for her. It would take just one creep and god knows what could happen to her. Ayato doesn’t know what to do. He wants her to be safe of course. But they had promised not to get involved with each other anymore, hadn’t they? He can tell Hinami glanced at him again and he knows that she saw him looking at the clock. She knows full well that he had noticed what’s going on. She’s probably waiting for a reaction from him as well.

What would she think if he said nothing? Would it hurt her if he doesn’t care?

It doesn’t matter either way. Touka continues talking before he’s able to say anything.

“Well, then, I guess I’ll see you soon?” Touka says, smiling a little. She pulls Hinami into a brief hug, but as she pulls away, she pauses and turns to look at Ayato. “Actually, since you’re here, why don’t you walk her back?”

“What? No! That’s fine!” Hinami cries out before Ayato could even finish processing what his sister had just said. “I’ll be okay. I’ll get home myself. It’s fine. The streets are safe. I won’t walk into dark alleys—”

“Bullshit,” Touka cuts in. “Anyway, it’s better to be safe than sorry, right?”

He wants to scream at Touka. She’s the one who told them to part ways in the first place. But he knows that Touka is right. He’s never going to forgive himself if something ever happens to her because he has too much pride to forget a stupid agreement and walk her home.

“No, it’s okay! I’m fine by myself.”

“That’s stupid. I can’t leave you on your own out there.”

Hinami is still trying to turn the suggestion down, pushing Touka away and shaking her head while Touka keeps forcing the idea. It looks like neither of them are going to back down.

“The streets are safe!”

“Hinami,” he sighs. Hinami freezes but she doesn’t turn to him. “It’s fine. I don’t mind walking you back.”

“I don’t think…” she trails off, shaking her head while still fiddling with the strap of her bag. If she really doesn’t want it, he supposes he can’t force her. He’s right about to give up when he catches Touka’s eyes. His sister is staring at him demandingly and he knows Touka isn’t going to give either of them an option. Ayato sighs and walks forward, taking Hinami’s hand and tugging her towards the door. “Come on, let’s go.”

“I really don’t need you to—”

“Shut up.”

Ayato doesn’t let go of her hand even when he’s pulling her out. Hinami doesn’t know if he’s doing it knowingly or if he simply just forgot to let go. She supposes it’s the latter. He doesn’t look too pleased about being out with her right now. He’s only here because Touka didn’t give him a choice. The atmosphere around them is already awkward enough. Knowing that he doesn’t want to be here just makes it worse, especially when her mind is still reeling from her conversation with Kaneki.

Are you sure you’re not in love with him?

Her heart is going to leap out of her chest simply thinking about it. She dares herself to look up, staring ahead at Ayato’s back. She doesn’t want to even consider the thought that she might be in love with him and that too, at such a point in time. How would Ayato even react if— hypothetically speaking— she suddenly confesses to him right now? Would he be happy? Would he get angry? Would he tell her she’s too late? Maybe if she’s lucky, he might just forget everything and they would be able to get together and become a happy couple. Everything would be good.

But even that is just a fantasy, she supposes.

She remembers seeing him glance at the clock and yet remain silent back at Touka’s place just now. He hadn’t wanted to walk her back. He knew that she was lying about her dorm being open right now. It didn’t seem to matter to him as much as it mattered to Touka that she was going to walk home alone. Hinami herself hadn’t wanted him to come, but she feels a sting deep down realising that it didn’t matter to him if anything happened to her.

“Where are you going to go now?” he asks. Ayato breaks the silence so suddenly that she almost jumps. She looks away from his head, dropping her eyes, only for her gaze to fall to their connected hands. He’s still holding her. They’ve never held hands outside before, except for that one time when they met Touka and Kaneki and Ayato had wanted to get away from there quickly. Thinking about it, didn’t she get upset on that day? They had a big fight and she had thought he was only using her.

Every time you looked at me like that, it felt like I fell in love with you all over again.

Will he still feel that way, she wonders, if she looks at him like that again?

“Back to the dorms,” she replies.

“The dorms, huh?” he sighs. He stops and it’s too sudden for her to keep up without running into him. She moves away quickly but it’s not like she can move too far from him with him still holding her hand. Does he not notice?

“Yes, the dorms.”

He turns to her with a raised eyebrow, their eyes meeting. “It’s closed now isn’t it?”

“I’ll climb over the gates,” she says as an excuse— anything to just get him to start walking or to turn away again. She can’t keep staring at his eyes like that, not with Kaneki’s words still playing in her mind. Are you sure you’re not in love with him? Are you sure you’re not in love with him? Are you sure—

“In that?” he laughs out.

She hadn’t thought much about her outfit but she looks down and regrets it immediately. There’s no way she’ll be able to climb over the gates in a tight pencil skirt without tearing it or lifting up far too much. But the only other option she has right now is to go back with him. If it has to come to this, she supposes she could do with one less skirt.

“Don’t underestimate me,” she scoffs instead.

He blinks and then smirks. “Oh, I know better than to underestimate you, Hinami.”

She’d have given him a light punch for that had it been some other time but right now, all she can do is stare at him in silence. The smirk fades from his lips and his eyes drop to their hands. He smiles slightly— weakly— and releases her. He slides his hands into his pockets and turns around, continuing to walk as if nothing had happened. They hadn’t been holding hands. They hadn’t talked. Nothing.

If there’s anything that she picked up about him the past two months, it’s that Ayato is very capable of pretending that everything is alright with him even if his world is in shambles. She’d been with him for two years and never once had she ever guessed all that he was harbouring from her. Even till now, he’s never going to be honest about anything.

“Ayato,” she calls out. He stops and looks over his shoulders. He doesn’t say anything, simply waiting for her to instead. It feels like she has a lot of things to say to him, but now that he’s standing there waiting for her to say something, she realises that she has nothing to say to him. She can ask him a lot of things she supposes but she already knows all the answers to them. The only answers she doesn’t have are to the questions she has to ask herself. Why did she get so upset that day at the alley? Why had his disappearance that night worry her so much? Why did their separation change her life so much? What exactly does she want from him?

“What is it?” he grumbles after a moment of silence. Hinami shakes her head and he frowns. “Then let’s go—” Ayato stops talking, looking up to the sky. She could feel it too.

It starts as soft pats on her face and arms. But in a mere matter of seconds, it starts coming down harder and harder, until she can barely see what’s in front of her. Her hair and clothes are plastered against her skin. She’s soaked and it’s freezing. The rain had been sudden but it didn’t come with a surprise. The weather had been pretty overcast that day. In front of her, Ayato squints as he walks towards her, grabbing her wrist to start pulling her along again, this time into a run.

“We need to get to shelter!” he shouts, trying his best to be loud enough for her to hear him. Even then, she can barely hear him over the rain. “There’s no time to get the dorms. Let’s go back home.”`

“No!” she cries out. He ignores her, trying to pull her back down the direction they had come from, but Hinami tries her best to struggle against it. It’s too weird being in the same place as both Kaneki and Ayato. She’d get no sleep the whole night and her heart would probably never calm down. She’s still thinking about that conversation. “I’m going back to the dorms.”

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” He stops trying to pull her, turning to glare at her. “We’d get sick.”

“I don’t want to go back there,” Hinami insists.

“Why not?”

“Because I just don’t want to!”

“Something happened between you and Kaneki just now, didn’t it?” Ayato snorts. She thinks he’s smirking. She can’t see his face clearly amidst the rain while she’s squinting her eyes, but she hears the victorious haughtiness in his voice. “Fine then. Let’s go to my place.”

“No!” Her cry comes out faster than she had meant it to, almost as if it was an instinctive response to his suggestion. But Ayato’s place is definitely a worse idea. Not only will she go crazy thinking about everything that had happened, Hinami doesn’t trust herself alone with him anymore, definitely not after what happened in her dorm room. They’re not supposed to be doing anything, she reminds herself, but she also knows that the both of them have terrible self-control.

“What now?” Ayato yells. “The dorm’s way too far, Hinami, and there’s no way you’re climbing up the gates in this rain. You’re going to get hurt.”

“You’re exaggerating,” Hinami argues back. She can tell that Ayato’s right on the verge of losing his shit and she can’t blame him. He didn’t even want to accompany her here. He got forced to then and now he’s caught in insanely heavy rain with her out of all people. “Look, you can go back first. I’ll be fine by myself.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’m serious— Ah!” She’s cut off as he pulls her closer to him and lifts her up. It takes a moment for her to realise that he’s carrying her and that she’s pressed against him, with his hands on her waist. She feels herself stiffen, everything freezing around her. She’s too close to him. They hadn’t been this close in so long. He hadn’t touched her in so long. Even though she has her clothes, her body prickles at his touch. By the time she snaps out of her slight trance, he’s already thrown her over his shoulder and is walking off in the direction of his apartment.

“Hey! Put me down!” she screams.

“Shut up. People are going to get the wrong idea about this if you keep struggling,” he growls.

“Let me go!” Her voice gets shriller but it doesn’t make much of a difference as the rain gets louder and heavier. She’s way too soaked and cold to put up a decent fight against Ayato, but she has no plans on giving up. She doesn’t want to go back to his apartment. It’s loaded far too much with her memories of him. She doesn’t trust herself to be swayed by them and to give in to whatever drives her at that point in time. It’ll be a miracle if she can get through an hour without either pulling him to his bed or being pulled to his bed.

He reaches his apartment complex in less than half the time it would take them to get to the dorms. Even when they’re under shelter, he doesn’t put her down, ignoring her screaming and cursing. People definitely will get the wrong idea and if any of his neighbours happen to open their door right now, it’ll probably land both of them in hot water. But Hinami can’t be bothered about that right now. She just wants to do whatever she can to stop herself from entering the place.

“Ayato, please wait—” She’s cut off as he lifts her off his shoulder and pushes her against the door. He’s still holding her off the ground. Back pressed to the door, she’s staring straight ahead, at him. Their faces are levelled and close, less than an inch apart even.

He furrows his brows and speaks in a soft whisper. “If you’re uncomfortable with it, I don’t mind going back to my sister’s place.”

“What? In that rain? No,” she grumbles. “If you’re going to run back through the rain, I might as well do the same and return to my dorm.”

“I’ll come in my apartment, change and leave. I have umbrellas. It will be fine. I won’t get caught in the rain on my way back,” he says.

Being alone in his place doesn’t sit well with her either but it is a better option than being with him in there. Maybe she’d find some time to think through everything that’s going on right now. Maybe being in his apartment might actually help. She’ll also get to save her skirt.

“Fine,” she relents. “But you promise you would leave, right?”

“If that’s what you want,” he murmurs. Just like that, he releases her. As Ayato unlocks the door, she waits slightly behind him, trying to calm herself down and even her breathing out. It’s easier to breathe now that he’s not touching her but she realises something else she hadn’t notice immediately when she was so close to him.

His breath started smelling like smoke again. She had paid not much mind to it a month ago when they slept together, being so overwhelmed by everything else that she hadn’t put time and effort into thinking about it. But it’s worse now. He must have started smoking more this month. Simply entering his apartment is enough to tell her that. The smell is almost suffocating.

“God, how much did you smoke in here?” she complains the moment he shuts the door.

She sees a flash of panic in his eyes before he pushes past her to enter the kitchen. “Not much. I didn’t open my windows so the smoke must have stayed too long in here. I have some air freshener somewhere.”

It’s a stupid excuse. She knows he’s been smoking a lot and the number of empty beer cans she sees on the kitchen counter and the table in the living room doesn’t help his claim. He always smokes when he drinks.

“I thought you promised to stop,” she says when he comes out of the kitchen. He’s silent for a moment, placing the can of air freshener on the table before proceeding to pick up his empty beer cans.

Eventually, he says softly as he picks up the last can, “You promised to kiss me whenever I needed a stick.”

He’s right. That was the promise. But she can’t kiss him when they’re apart. He must have fallen back to his old habits when they parted. She knows it’s not her job to babysit him and lecture him over things like that. He should take care of himself on his own. He’s not a kid anymore and even if he is, he’s still not her responsibility. But she does wonder why every single one of his coping mechanisms had to somehow be harmful in one way or another. If he’s not kissing and sleeping with the girl he loves who doesn’t love him back, he’s smoking and drinking himself possibly to death.

But that’s his problem and she knows she has to leave it to him to deal with him. She drops the subject there as Ayato turns to his room. Hinami wonders if she should follow him. She could always use the bathroom in the living room if he’s using the one in the bedroom. She opts to follow him nevertheless, entering the bedroom behind him. Lightning flashes in the distance, followed by the loud, sudden rumbling of thunder. The rain is getting heavier. Hinami wonders if it’s really a good idea for Ayato to leave now.

“I have extra towels here and clothes. I don’t have your clothes anymore so you can borrow mine if you want,” he says, opening his closet.

“What about you?” she asks.

“I’ll leave after I get changed,” he replies. He reaches into the closet and pulls out a towel, holding it out to her.

“Aren’t you going to take a shower as well?”

“Nah. I’ll just head home instead.”

Hinami nods, walking over and taking the towel from him. She doesn’t look at him, simply walking to the bathroom before closing it instead. She stands still for a long moment, back to the shower, face to the mirror. She’s stood here many times before during happy times and sad times as well. This bathroom itself holds a particular memory. She still can’t tell if it’s good or bad— that moment when things started to slowly change, initially for the better and then, for the worse. She probably didn’t realise back then how much of a false hope she was giving him. She had been sincere. She seriously wants to try. But maybe they were really not meant to be and there’s nothing she can do about that.

You are in love with him.

She chokes and shakes her head. She shouldn’t let those ideas get into her head. She just needs to focus on what she has to do now-- her shower. Besides, Ayato would be leaving anyway. She shouldn’t worry about him.

Her shower is faster than usual. She tries not to think about it but she continues remembering their moments in there-- her promising him that she’d give him a chance, him taking care of her after what happened in the alley. They were very different memories, but both make her heart ache. The relationship with him that she had held so dear has come to an end. It feels like there’s an evil being beside her right now, continuously whispering and reminding her of the times, tempting her to give in and run back to him, to fool him into thinking that she’s giving him what he wants.

Tell him.

If she tells him she loves him, maybe he will let her stay.

Lie to him.

But is it truly a lie now? Kaneki surfaces, reminding her once again what he thinks. Her mind is like a courtroom, both Kaneki and her throwing out their opinions, arguing over everything that’s going on. But nothing gets resolved and thinking too much only gives her a headache. She needs to leave-- not just the bathroom, but his apartment too.

There’s nothing she can do about the clothes. Hers are still too wet to wear. She supposes she can leave them in the laundry basket for now. Since she’s taking some of his anyway, she could always take them back from him when she goes to return his clothes to him. She picks out a sweater from the closet which he had once complained to her over how oversized it was. When she puts it on, it’s as good as a dress and she didn’t have to worry about showing anything she didn’t want to like the previous time she had dashed out of Ayato’s apartment on a rainy night while wearing his clothes. Holding her bag tightly in her hands, she starts to walk out, only to stop when she’s in front of the door, right at the entrance of the kitchen. The stench of smoke was too overbearing. She knows it’s new.

Entering the kitchen gives her answers immediately. Ayato is still there. It doesn’t seem like he had expected her to show up so quickly. Sitting on the floor, with a stick in his mouth and two other buds on the floor beside him, he looks up at her with wide eyes.

“Hinami? Wait, what are you doing here?” he asks.

She’s tired of this. Even though she knows it’s not her business, she knows that she can’t just leave this be.

“Stop it,” she says.

“Stop what?” He knows damn well what she’s talking about. She can tell he’s faking it.

“Stop smoking,” she snaps.

“It’s too rainy outside. I can’t smoke there,” he says. “It shouldn’t bother you in the bedroom if I smoke here in the kitchen. Not unless you stupidly decide to show up here anyway. What are you doing here?”

She ignores his question. She can’t tell him that she’s planning to leave. “Why are you still here?” She sounds so haughty and she hates herself for it. She’s in his apartment. She has no rights to chase him out.

“I was going to leave after… this.”

“After that stick?” she asks.

Ayato hesitates before answering. He clears his throat. “No. After this box.”

That did it; it’s way too much. She drops to her knees and pulls the cigarette out of his mouth before flicking it to the floor. Ayato scowls at her and reaches for it, but Hinami manages to kick it away in time, barely avoiding getting the soles of her feet burnt in the process. Ayato seems annoyed but he makes no effort to take that particular stick. He does have a box, she remembers. Ayato tries to push her away, probably to get up and leave so he can smoke the rest of his box in peace since she knows she’s making it obvious that she isn’t letting him smoke anymore. The box is in his hands and she tries her best to take it away from him. But Ayato is so much stronger than she is and it’s barely a hard task for him to overpower her physically. The scuffle ends with him pinning her down on the floor, pressing her hands down at the sides of her head. Their faces are so close, him still glaring at her while breathing hard.

“Your breath stinks,” she snaps at him.

“Why does that matter to you?” he yells. “Just leave me alone already. Let me do what I want. I have no business listening to you when we’re not doing it anymore.”

“So you stopped smoking just to have sex with me, is that it?” she challenges and Ayato grits his teeth in response, the hesitation evident in his eyes.

“Yeah. Yeah, I did that. I did so many things so I could fuck the girl I like. You’d do the same with Kaneki, won’t you?”

Again.

“Why do you keep bringing him up every time?” Hinami feels like crying, though she knows she’s not sad. She feels angrier right now. It feels like she isn’t the only one who’s holding them back from moving on with this relationship. Nothing is going to come out of it if Ayato doesn’t change as well. She might fall heads over heels in love with him but as long as Ayato is convinced that he’s a mere replacement, they will never find satisfaction with what they have.

And maybe, that really was the case. Maybe they really are in love with each other. Maybe there isn’t a complication at all. Maybe it’s just them, them being so convinced that this relationship was messed up that it clouded their eyes to the realities of him; her being so obsessed with the idea of being in love with Kaneki that she fails to see that she’s long moved on from it and that she’s found someone else. Ayato was right, perhaps. Someone really did come and sweep her off her feet.

“What else is there to talk about?” Ayato shouts back. “It’s always been about Kaneki and it’s always going to be about Kaneki, both here and back home. I’m never going to be free of it, am I? Everything I care about, everything I want-- he’s going to take it. He has it all and I’m left in the dumps with nothing.”

“Your smoking has nothing to do with Kaneki--”

“You shut up! You know it damn well has to do with Kaneki. He’s the reason everything fucked up in the first place!” Ayato continues, cutting into her. “This relationship has never been about the two of us at all. It was always about him.”

Even when he’s yelling at the top of his lungs, she can see just how miserable he is. Hinami doesn’t know what she can do to convince him of anything right now. He seems so staunch in his beliefs. It’s as if he’s recited all these things to himself over and over again that he genuinely believes in them-- Kaneki is the reason everything went wrong, Kaneki took Touka and Hinami away from him, they will never love him, she will never love him. But he’s wrong. She knows he’s wrong but she doesn’t know how to tell him otherwise.

But listen to me, Hinami, you are in love with him.

She needs to let him know, but how does she convince him of it even when she’s questioning it herself?

They fall silent and Ayato’s hold on her weakens, before he moves his hands away, releasing her and resting his palms against the floor. His body is heaving and his head hangs forward. She can’t see the expression he has on his face right now but she can imagine how anguished it must be right now. She can’t think of anything else to do, except to each forward, wind her arms around his trembling frame. Sitting up, she pulls him to her, resting his head against her shoulder and stroking his hair gently.

“You’re wrong, Ayato,” she murmurs. “Kaneki didn’t do anything to you.”

“Except push me in front of a truck,” he says immediately.

“He didn’t steal Touka or me away from you, Ayato. We’re here.”

Ayato’s silent for a long moment before he relaxes in her arms. “I know,” he says slowly after a while. “I know it’s not his fault but it’s not fair. I know I stand no chance and I told myself-- I keep telling myself that-- but… I… I don’t know. Kaneki is so good to my sister. He’s so kind and caring to you too. He’s never actually done anything to hurt me aside from one accident and even though we don’t really get along, I knew he’d help me out if I ever need anything.”

“It’s going to be okay, Ayato,” she says softly. She pushes him away slightly, just so she can cup his face and stare into his eyes. “It’s going to be okay.”

“It’s not.” He furrows his brows as he speaks. He sighs and closes his eyes. “It’s not going to be okay, Hinami. This is all I’m going to have.”

“That’s not true,” she argues. “I’m sure it’ll get better.”

“It won’t. I know it won’t,” he whispers.

If there’s any time for her to say it, she supposes she should say it now. “Ayato, if I say something now, will you promise to take it seriously?”

He shrugs. “I don’t think there’s anything I won’t if it’s from you.”

“If… I say I love you, how will you react?” she murmurs.

He shrugs again, his nonchalant disposition starting to really bother her. “I don’t know.”

“That’s upsetting.”

“Why?”

“Because I kinda do think I like you… in that manner,” she admits.

He’s silent for a long time again. There’s barely any change in his sullen expression. It’s a far cry from the overwhelming ecstasy she thought he’d respond with. She’s convinced herself for a long time ago that if she ever falls for him and confesses to him, he’d be happy. But now, she doesn’t feel any of that and a part of her worries she might be too late. Has he gotten over her?

“Where did this suddenly come from?” he asks.

“I was talking to Kaneki just now and--”

“Kaneki?” he cuts in, looking at her with raised eyebrows.

“Yes, Kaneki,” she responds somewhat annoyed. “Listen. Anyway, I was talking to Kaneki and I told him what happened. He says--”

“Let me guess,” Ayato cuts in. “You made a fool of yourself and confessed to him and he says that you’re wrong and the person you’re in love with is me.”

Hinami turns to him. “How do you know that? You weren’t there, were you?” She can’t help but remember that slight moment Kaneki had pretended Ayato was there-- he wasn’t, was he?

“No but it sounds like the kind of dumb shit you’d do,” he scoffs. “So because he said that, being the idiot you normally are, you believed him, right?”

She pauses before responding, raising her eyebrow at him. She’s sensing so much hostility from him that it’s confusing her. Maybe given the circumstances, it’s understandable that he might not be happy to hear this but she doesn’t think it would make him annoyed, but there he is, sitting in front of her, with a scowl scrawled on his face.

“What’s with you, Hinami?” he grumbles. “Can’t you ever think for yourself?”

“I do. I’m not saying this because Kaneki told me. All he did was make me realise that--”

“No, all that’s bullshit!” Ayato cuts in, raising his voice again. “You’re always like that. You’re always bringing him up. It always just goes back to him. I bet he also said some shit about how we’re made for each other and how he wants us to be together and you completely bought into that poor boy Ayato thing Kaneki was playing at. Just know that’s not the case and I am completely fine living without you!”

She doesn’t realise when it got so tiring to deal with Ayato. At one point, he always listened to what she said and his cynical attitude was generally bearable but mostly because he never directed it to her.

“It didn’t feel that way when you were whining about your life on my shoulder just now,” she mutters. She annoyed. She’s getting angry and upset as well. Nothing is going well; nothing is going like how she anticipated it to. “Ayato, can we just… try again?”

“Try again?”

“Or do something at least, I don’t know. I don’t want to keep ignoring everything. We’ve been apart for one month and nothing has changed for me. I still feel so empty,” she continues. “Do we have to pretend there’s nothing? Can’t we just get back together again?”

“I’m leaving,” he says, getting up.

“What? Why? That’s the opposite of what I’m asking for,” she cries out. “Ayato, for once, please!”

He’s walking towards the door and she scrambles to her feet, just in time to grab him by his sleeves before he could reach for the door handles. She tugs him backwards and he turns to scowl at her again. “What do you want Hinami?”

“Do you really have to go? Can’t you stay?” she asks. “The rain is still heavy. It’s dangerous for you to go.”

“You were really hellbent on me leaving just now. Why does it matter now?” he asks.

“I don’t know,” she says. “I don’t know but… don’t go.” Not when I’ve just said all that. She would have said out her thoughts. She would have been honest with him. She wanted to. But Ayato’s looking at her like she’s crazy, like she’s just said something wrong.

“I don’t believe you, Hinami,” he admits. “This is so sudden and after Kaneki told you all that too. I don’t want to hurt you, but I can’t trust you when you’re saying things like this. The last time you said something like that, it didn’t work out.”

“I promised you that we’d take it slow and that one day it would work out, but it won’t happen if you’re not going to give it a chance,” she says urgently. She holding onto his sleeves with both his hands right now.

“How do I know you’re not lying right now?” he challenges.

“How do you want me to prove it to you?” she shoots back.

They both fall silent because honestly, there isn’t a way. There’s no way Hinami can prove her words to him, especially not when she’s thinking about them herself. Ayato has a point-- does she really love him or does she only think she does because Kaneki told her so? Is she perhaps still being swayed by her feelings for Kaneki? Her mind’s a mess. She can’t decide even if she should let him go now. Him staying might make things awkward and perhaps, it might make everything worse. But him going might do the same.

“How about you just think about it?” he says, roughly pulling his arm away from her grasp. “Just stay here. I’m going home.”

Perhaps his apartment didn’t feel like home anymore. Maybe he too can’t stand the memories in it.

Hinami remains silent, unable to say the right words to convince them both of what she had just said, completely clueless over what she should do to get him to stay. He leaves the apartment, closing and locking the door behind him. She’s left alone now and she simply stands there, staring at the door, her mind a blank slate. Eventually, she moves, having nothing else to do. It’s late. She throws himself on his bed, pulls the blanket over herself and tries to sleep. She’s exhausted but even then, it is hard for her to keep her eyes close.

It smells just like him.

He doesn’t think it’s a good idea to be leaving the apartment right now, but he doesn’t say anything either. Nothing good is going to come out of the both of them spending the night together. Even meeting her in her dorm the other night just to pass a piece of paper to her was a bad idea. He can’t imagine what would happen if they were staying together. Simply staying there too long must have made her insane for her to say those things to him.

If… I say I love you, how will you react?

No.

Because I kinda do think I like you… in that manner.

He doesn’t want to hope again.

He needed to discipline himself, to stop turning back to her and clinging onto false hope. He’s already told himself that nothing is going to come out of waiting and wishing. As long as a little inkling of desire and hope resides in him, he is going to keep his distance from her. Until he’s sure he’s not going to do anything stupid again and start something that would once again hurt both of them, he will not approach her.

He didn’t have a choice when Touka made it clear that she wanted him to walk Hinami back but he has a choice now. Even when Hinami suddenly changed her mind, he stuck to it. He doesn’t trust himself anymore. He’d eventually have chosen to believe if he had been there.

The rain had gotten heavier from when he and Hinami had run to his apartment on the way back from Touka’s place. If it was cold then, it’s colder now. Even with an umbrella, he’s getting wet. He can barely hear anything over the sound of raindrops. He can’t see that far ahead in front of him either. It’s so late in the night already. It’s really a bad idea to be out right now. He’s stupid for doing this. Touka will probably yell at him when she hears about this. But he’ll deal with that when it happens. Right now, he has to focus on walking forward despite the temptation to turn back to his apartment and to tell Hinami he changed his mind.

The rain continues to fall down on him. The umbrella offers not much protection, especially with the strong winds. He’s trying his best to stay under it, but with every blow of the wind, the umbrella is tugged along with it and he’s staggering as he tries to pull it back and to stay beneath it. His jeans are already drenched, weighing him down with every step he took. He wonders why he’s pushing himself so much like this. He wonders why he isn’t turning back. Turning back is the logical solution, but he supposes stubbornness runs deeper through his veins than he initially thought so.

There’s a flash followed by a clap of thunder again, so loud and sudden it makes him jump. Right after that, another blast of wind comes and he hasn’t had enough time to get over the shock from the thunder and to pull himself together. He staggers again as the umbrella is pulled along, but this time, it slips out of his hands. He tries to reach it but the wind has it in a matter of seconds, taking it along. His sight is so compromised that he can’t see where it landed. He’s squinting too hard to keep the water out of his eyes.

It’s so cold. His clothes are soaked in a matter of heartbeats. He can feel his hair plastered against his head. His bangs are falling too much into his eyes and it’s making visibility worse. He continues to walk but bothers him but in truth, his body is trembling from the cold, his muscles are contracting and his teeth are chattering. Screw going back to his apartment, he doesn’t want to move an inch from the spot he’s at. He wants to sit there, curl into a ball and just wait out the storm. But it doesn’t look like it’s stopping any time soon. He can already feel his nose stuffing up and his throat itching. If he stays out any longer, he probably would fall really sick.

He pulls his hood on and continues walking. The walk feels like forever, much longer than when he had dragged Hinami back to his apartment. He did feel pretty bad about it. Maybe he should have apologized to her about it. He wonders why she had hesitated to come with him in the first place. She wouldn’t have done that if she meant what she said to him. The conversation with her replays in his mind. Her touch was gentle as always and she’d spoken to him understandingly again, even when he’s pissed off and screaming at her. He doesn’t know how Hinami remains so calm whenever he loses his shit but she must have gotten used to him after spending time with him for so long.

Maybe they should have talked things out a little more. Simply storming out and leaving her like that was probably not a good idea. He’s probably going to see her again the next morning. He doesn’t think she’ll leave so early unless she doesn’t want to see him which he supposes would be unlikely since she’s almost begged him to stay earlier on.

He stops, turning backwards. Maybe he’d acted too rashly. Maybe he should go back and talk to her. Maybe he should just pretend that everything’s okay and take Hinami’s words as the truth. Lie or no lie, what matters, he supposes, isn’t what Hinami truly feels but what he believes she does.

He should go back. He really should.

But he supposes he doesn’t really have a choice. Everything happens in a blink of an eye. He hears the screeching of tires somewhere behind him and when he turns towards it, he sees two bright spots of lights— headlights— hurling right towards him. His heartbeat quickens and he hears something inside him screaming at him to jump away. But his feet are rooted in the ground. He feels himself being transported to sometime back, to a memory he’s tried so hard to forget but has only ever been unsuccessful in doing so. Yet never once has he remembered it so vividly as he does now— a rainy night, screeching of tires, bright headlights and then pain. He closes his eyes, squeezing them tights as he waits for the impact to come, to feel the strong vehicle ram into his feeble body to send him flying, to feel all his senses dull as his body erupts into excruciating pain.

All that comes is blackness again.

A/N: I spent so long debating if I should post this. I actually have most of Shattered already written out! I’m already on the last chapter now. But posting is where it gets really hard, honestly. I told myself I don’t want to post anymore because of all the hate I was getting. I feel really unappreciated at that point in time. But then I found out that it was just one person sending everything to me and I began questioning if I really should stop. Maybe just finishing up this fic would be okay. But that creepy hater for some reason started asking me to continue the fic. I don’t know if all the hate was just for entertainment while they really like my fics, or if they found some joy in doing these sorts of things. But I started hesitating again because posting a fic like they wanted me to felt like I was giving in to them and letting them win. Thinking about it now, I shouldn’t have bothered about that person. The more they message me, the more I am convinced they’re just a fucking hater.

Anyway, I just wanted yall to know why I stopped and why now I decided to continue. They’re lifeless. I shouldn’t worry about them. I should hold myself and those who enjoy my work and are nice about it to high levels. So that’s why Shattered is out.

I ended up changing the ending a little bit! I wouldn’t completely call it a happy ending anymore but it’s less angsty than the bittersweet ending I had in mind. There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to make Shattered too happy simply because of the tone of the entire story. Anyway, thank you for reading! I hope you had fun :)

Once again, please please do reblog if you like this! It’ll really help me out. Feel free to leave comments in the tags/ reblogs/ replies or through asks!

#tg #tokyo ghoul #ayahina #kirishima ayato #fueguchi hinami #tg fanfic #far writes stuff #my fic: shattered

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edensgay · 6 years ago

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Cleaned Up

Cleaned Up: An Eli Palmer Fanfiction

Relationship: Eli Palmer x F!Deputy

Rating: 18+

Summary: Eli and his favorite Deputy spend some much needed time together.

Warnings: Smut. It’s smut but it’s soft. Pegging, ass eating, oral sex.

Word Count: 3946

Author’s Note: Eli deserves to be pegged. I finished this on VDay but didn’t wanna spam the fics I finished so I’m posting it now!

It wasn’t often that Eli left the bunker, but when he did it was to hunt, do recon or go to the cabin a few miles down the road. Today was a cabin day and as such, he’d prepared. He'd brushed his hair, his shirt was clean and he’d even managed to trim his beard a bit. It was a smidge uneven but that wasn’t important, what was important was that he tried. Tammy and Wheaty had given him odd looks as he’d picked up his bow and headed for the exit, a nervous hop in his step and a grin on his face. They hadn’t been able to figure out where Eli went or why he went, all they knew was that he came back completely relaxed with a swagger in his step. He’d been at the cabin for half an hour, Rook would be arriving any minute now. His leg jiggled as he sat on the couch nervously flexing his fingers as he stared at the wall and waited for the door to open. The grandfather clock in the hall ticked the seconds by, slow and painstaking. Eli wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans, he hadn’t had time to wash them but a sniff test had revealed they weren’t that dirty. The clock let out a long chirping and then the door opened, sending Eli rocketing to his feet. He stood stock still, trying not to fidget as her eyes traced over him. Starting at his feet, a small smirk working its way onto her face as she noticed the bulge already forming in his pants, moving up to his chest and finally settling on his face. She blinked in surprise before an easy grin worked its way across her face, her arms crossing over her chest as she leaned against the doorway. “Well, well, well. Look who’s all cleaned up.” “You like it?” Shit, when did his voice get so raspy? His palms were sweaty again, his heart thumping in his chest as he tried to casually wipe his hands on his jeans again. Rook raised an eyebrow at him and then spared a glance to the stairs before giving him a hard look. Eli knew what that look meant, it meant ‘Go upstairs and get naked. Now’. So, he did. A chuckle escaped her as he darted towards the stairs, trying not to trip over his feet as he tried to walk up them like a normal person and not take them two at a time like some sex-starved loon. He could feel her eyes on his ass as he took the stairs, that in itself was motivation enough to slow down and give a little shake every other step. At the top he stopped and looked back at her, shivering at the hungry look in her eye. She was going to devour him, and he couldn’t wait. In the bedroom, he kicked off his shoes and threw his shirt in the corner within mere seconds. His pants took a little longer, he attempted to kick out of them but instead got his legs tangled in the fabric and fell onto the bed. The soft comforter muffled his frustrated groan as he took a minute to debate life and ask every deity why. After a minute of wallowing at his lack of finesse, he managed to pull the jeans all the way off. Eli got to his feet and stood proudly in the middle of the room clad in just his underwear before shimmying out of them and nodding to himself. Next was figuring out how to sexily position himself on the bed. How could he lay to look the most appetizing? Or as he once heard Wheaty say, like a snack? He settled onto the bed, leaning up against the pillows with one arm behind his head and the other on his junk. Yeah, that would work. Rooks footsteps echoed through the small cabin, his heart thudded knowing she would soon join him in the bedroom. Then it promptly plummeted when he realized he’d forgotten to remove his socks. Judging by how far away she sounded he had just enough time to hop off the bed and take his socks off then lay back down in his sexy position. The first sock was unceremoniously thrown across the room, landing nowhere near the rest of his clothes. The second proved to be more difficult but in the end, he got it off, tossing it somewhere in the general vicinity of the other sock. When he went to climb back onto the bed he tripped over his feet in his haste and ended up face down ass up leaning against the bed. Of course, that’s when the Deputy walked in. “Someone’s eager.” No, well, yes, but that’s not why he was in this position. Her hand ghosted over the swell of his ass and he let out a soft breath, instantly relaxing into the mattress. With that soft touch, he dropped the title of Militia Leader and simply became Eli, Rook taking charge but also letting go of her position. She wasn’t the Deputy, wasn’t spearheading the resistance against a doomsday cult, she was just Rook. At the cabin, they were just two people. With a little shimmying he managed to prop himself up and gaze at her over his shoulder, heat blossoming over his cheeks as he saw how tenderly she looked at him. Adoration was warm in her eyes, an amused but tender smile stretching her cheeks. She’s not wearing shoes anymore, having left them by the front door and for a minute Eli feels like a heathen for wearing his upstairs. Then the bag on her shoulder fell to the ground with a loud thunk, causing Eli to jump ever so slightly--no he wasn’t scared, he was Eli Palmer and Eli Palmer wasn’t scared of loud noises. “While you’re here,” her sentence trailed off as that hunger returned to her eyes, flashing him a smile before licking her lips. She would be the death of him. Her hand kneaded his asscheek as she sank to her knees, his cock twitching at the sight. “You’re overdressed.” Any other protests he might have had, though they all would have been half-hearted at best, forgotten as her hand trailed over his inner thigh. “You can undress me later.” Fair point. Far be it from him to argue with that. He wriggled against the bed, spreading his legs to allow her better access which she immediately took advantage of, tongue licking a strip from his balls to his hole. His yelp of surprise turned into an indecent moan as her tongue flicked a gentle circle around his hole then traced back down to his balls. Rook gently envelopes one of them in her mouth, sucking tenderly and with that Eli lets his head drop to the bed, face pressed into the blanket. She pulls away, pressing gentle kisses to his perineum as her hands find purchase in on his hips. Air leaves her mouth in a gentle stream, cooling the hot saliva that coats him, the sudden cold causes him to let out a soft gasp. She chuckles and his bones turn to jelly then she’s back at it, tongue lavishing him with obscene wet noises. He knows he’s making a mess on the bed, he can feel the precum soaking into blanket where his dick rests. He almost feels bad for his neglected dick, but not quite because she’s still sloppily lapping at the sensitive skin of his hole and it’s hard to focus on anything other than that. As if she’d read his mind she grips his hips, nails softly digging into the flesh, and pulls him towards her. Before he can let out the undignified yelp that builds in his throat her mouth leaves him and he lets out an undignified whine instead. A hand leaves his hip followed by a clicking and a wet noise then she’s back to french kissing his ass. A wet hand wraps around his cock and gives it a few give tugs before settling into a slow rhythm that matches the speed of her tongue. Lube. She’d been opening a bottle of lube. “Did you,” a stop for a gasp as she penetrates him with the tip of her tongue, “open that with one hand?” He sounds breathy as all hell, his throat dry from how much gasping and mouth breathing he’s been doing but he can’t find it in him to care. She hums against him and he moans at the tingling feeling. Rook picks up the pace, her tongue fucking him as her hand works his dick in a circular motion. He’s on the verge of over stimulation but is being kept on the edge, he knows exactly what she’s doing. She’s keeping him needy. Then it’s all gone and he finds himself holding back that same needy whine from before and he must not be doing a very good job of it because she chuckles and makes a clucking noise with her tongue. Her hand squeezes his ass one more time before he hears her shuffle to her feet, his dick twitches knowing what’s coming. Eli rolls over and looks at her, eyes hazy with lust and adoration as he notes the saliva glistening on her chin. His chest is heavy, his cheeks are rosy and he’s aching for release, but save for the wetness on her chin she looks perfectly put together. “You look completely debauched.” She’s going for joking but the hitch in her voice and darkening of her eyes gives way to the fact that she is loving this just as much as he is. He clears his throat as he props himself up, letting out a shaky chuckle while shaking his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts. “You’re still overdressed.” Her smile makes his chest tighten painfully. “Well, it’s later.” She said, waggling her eyebrows at him playfully. Eli’s a smart man, the Dep doesn't need to tell him twice. She’s standing close enough that all it takes is for him to lean forward and hook his thumbs into her belt loops to pull her closer to him. A shrill laugh escapes her and she stumbles towards him, his heart sings at the noise. All his previous clumsiness is gone as he tugs her shirt over her head, stopping to admire the shape of her torso. Hands trail over her sides, one stopping to cup her breast while the other works on undoing her bra. His movements are slow, tender, as he drinks in the sight of her and takes a minute to worship. Her bra falls to the floor, forgotten as he leans forward and presses wet kisses to her exposed skin, trailing up until he’s able to swirl his tongue around her nipple. She stops, leaning into him and letting him lavish her breasts with attention, any last traces of tension draining from her body. Eli finds himself pulling away from her, looking up and shivering at the look in her eyes. They’re dark, pupils blown as she studies his face. He surges forward as she leans down, lips meeting halfway as they breathlessly taste each other. Rook cups his face as he firmly plants his hands on her hips, pulling her close enough to him that their knees knock. Tongues tangle and he tastes himself on her, groaning into the kiss. Her hands leave his face to find her belt, now she’s the impatient one, unbuckling it with precise movements. They pull apart, both breathing heavily, lips swollen. In one fluid motion, she yanks the belt down away from her and it’s freed from all her belt loops with a soft cracking noise. The sound makes him shiver, mind racing with images of her using that belt. But she tosses it aside--somewhere near his socks--and moves to unbutton her pants. Something on his face causes her to pause, maybe it had fallen a bit when she tossed the belt aside. A calloused hand holds his chin, tenderly lifting his face to meet her eyes. There’s mischief in them and another smile that makes his heart flip-flop. “Another time.” His hands cover hers and take over unbuttoning her pants, it feels like Christmas and he’s unwrapping the present that’s been tormenting him under the tree for weeks. Her underwear is simple but that doesn’t matter, he’s more interested in what they cover. His fingers toy with the waistband, dragging against her skin in a way that makes her sigh and relax under his touch. One of her hand's tangles into his hair, holding him tightly enough to remind him who’s in charge but soft enough to allow him some freedom. Eli pulls the cloth down her legs, licking his suddenly too dry lips as she became just as bare as him. She lets out a soft noise as he leans forward and presses a kiss above her mound, hands gripping her thighs like a lifeline. With a little maneuvering, he slides to his knees in front of her and pulls a leg over his shoulder, taking in the sight of her. “Eli.” There was a soft demand in her tone, accented with a whine. A gentle nudge of her leg against his head, begging him to not leave her hanging. That’s all it took, just her saying his name in that tone and he was diving his face between her thighs. His own needs forgotten as his tongue pressed against her clit in a broad stroke, groaning at the taste of her. Rooks' fingers tightened in his hair, a breathy sound escaping her. He presses a sloppy kiss to her clit before moving his attentions a bit lower, going down on her like a man on death’s row eating his last meal. She’s vulnerable like this, leaning heavily on him, head tilted back and body relaxed. Eli glances up at her, enjoying the view. She’s biting her lip, struggling against the whimpers that threaten to escape. It’s not often he gets to see her like this, these moments are ones he cherishes, moments when there’s nothing but them. He pulls away for a moment, beard glistening and breath heavy he presses adoring kisses to the skin of her thigh, nuzzling his face into her and letting out a content sigh. The hand in his hair softens its hold for a moment, brushing stray strands from his face. Their eyes meet and his heart leaps, the way she looks at him makes him ache. He’d do anything for her. One of the hands holding her thighs migrates to her sex, fingers spreading her folds. His mouth returns to her clit, tongue flicking over the nub in quick movements as he slides a finger into her. She’s so wet for him, clenching around the single digit. He adds another and the groan she makes is one he commits to memory, a strangled version of his name. Hands tighten in his hair as he finds the spot that makes her muscles clench and her jaw drop, fingers fucking her as his tongue spells out the feelings he struggles to speak of aloud. Rooks' nails dig into his scalp as she grinds herself against his face, struggling for some semblance of control. He lets her have it, allowing her to nudge his head to exactly where she needs it, to angle her hips so his fingers hit just right. Her orgasm has her taught as a bow, body stiff and toes curling into the shag carpet. Eli helps her ride it out, diligently continuing his ministrations until he feels her body loosen. His name leaves her lips in a breathless sigh, fingers slipping through his hair as her legs shake from the effort of keeping her upright. “I-” she pauses, letting out a shaky laugh as she smiles down at him. “Shit.” There’s a pause, both of them stopping to catch their breath, Eli holding her steady as she comes down from her high. He’s the only one who gets to see Rook like this, completely relaxed and at ease. He takes a mental snapshot of her face right now, eyes filled with adoration, cheeks flushed and lips swollen from biting down to keep quiet. With slow motions he sets her foot back on the ground, keeping his hands on her to make sure she’s stable. Also, maybe because he needs to touch her, has to feel that she’s real and right here. He rises to his feet and finds himself caught off guard when her hands catch his face and pull their lips together. She nips at his lip, tongue darting into his mouth to chase the taste of herself. His hand grip her hips like he’s afraid she’ll disappear, but she won’t. She’s real, and she’s right here with his tongue in his mouth and his dick against her thigh. They pull away, breathing heavily and looking at each other through heavy-lidded eyes. “Hey.” Her voice is soft, a bit raspy from all the panting she’d done earlier. Her thumb traces over his cheek and he leans into her touch, a dopey smile plastered on his face. “Hey.” She grins at him, pressing another quick kiss to his lips before pulling away. His stomach ties in knots at the loss but the tightness quickly turns to butterflies as she crouches in front of her duffel. “Find the lube?” He ends up crawling around on the outdated carpet listening to the jingling music of her wiggling into the harness. By the time he finds the half-empty bottle and gets back to his feet his knees burn and she’s laying on the bed, idly stroking the orange cock. From the smirk on her face he can tell she enjoyed watching him crawl around on the ground it makes the rugburn worth it, his eyes find the discarded belt for a split second before darting back to her. Not today, but someday. “Come here.” It’s not a question, her voice is soft but firm and he can’t help but shiver. It’s rare that they do it in this position, usually, she takes him from behind, fingers tangling in his hair and hands trailing down his back. As he crawls onto the bed towards her, feeling more like a lumbering idiot than a sex kitten, he can’t help but gnaw on his lip. He settles on his knees beside her, eyeing the dildo with an expression she can’t read. Her hand catches his chin and forces him to make eye contact, she searches him for something--hesitation, maybe. “Is this okay?” Again, soft but firm, no room for non-answers. “Yes.” With that she leans back, giving a meaningful glance to the cock before relaxing into the pillows. With timid movements he spreads the lube on his hand, tentatively grasping the strap on and coating it with lube. From the corner of his eye, he can see the easy smirk on her face, the slight quickening of her breath as his strokes on the Fanta colored dick grow more fluid as his confidence builds. They’ve done this nearly a dozen times, but each time he’s reduced to a shy bumbling idiot. Something about Rook being in control, taking the reins, gets to him in the best way. Before Eli can succumb to the butterflies threatening to cut off his airways he sets the bottle down and throws one leg over his lap so he overs above her cock. Her hands immediately hold onto his thighs, feather-light, not pushing him just grounding him. One hand goes by her head to stabilize himself while the other grips the cock and positions it near his entrance, he releases a breath and then slides down. His movements are slow, scooting down inch by inch, stomach muscles clenching until it’s fully seated inside of him. Almost involuntarily he grinds himself down onto her, he needed this. His cock brushes against her stomach, leaving a shining smear of precum. All shyness gone he slowly begins to ride her, his first few bounces shallow as he adjusts. “That’s it.” Her voice is soft, encouraging and that’s all he needs. Now adjusted his hands gently settle on her stomach, afraid to put too much weight on her but needing support, and he begins to ride her in earnest. Rooks' hands grip his thighs harder, one sneaking around to grab his ass. A groan escapes him as he rolls his hips, grinding on the dildo, the hand on his ass gripping harsher. Her nails threaten to break the skin, digging into the soft flesh of his ass in a way that one could almost call lovingly. His thigh muscles burn with use, he really should exercise more, and a layer of sweat covers his skin. “You look so pretty,” She coos, eyes alight as she takes in his sweat shined form. Her tongue swipes out to lick her lips as she takes in the swollen head of his cock, his eyes follow the movement, cheeks flushing as he continues fucking himself onto her. His hair sticks to his face, rivulets of sweat stuck in his chest hair, but she continues looking at him like he’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. The hand on his thigh moves to grip his cock, giving him a firm squeeze that has his head lolling back a surprised gasp bursting from his lips. She knows exactly how to touch him to get him to make that sweet sound, and she does it again, and again until his gasps turn into groans and the groans turn into whines. Eli’s hips stutter in their movements as her hand continued stroking him, thumb tracing over tip in teasing motions. He doesn’t want it to be over, but he’s so close to the edge, almost ready to fall. “That’s it, sweetheart.” The soft words send him over, grinding down onto her with everything he has left in him. A knot tightens in his stomach, chest heaving as he moans what he'd intended to be her name. His cum drips over her stomach and even up to her chest in ribbons, coaxed by her strokes. He feels boneless, body heavy and throat tight. But it’s a good feeling, he sits there for a minute catching his breath as one of her hands twines with one of his, fingers tracing soothing circles on his knuckles as he comes down. “You okay?” Rook squeezes his hand, an easy smile on her face as she studies him. He’s better than okay and he goes to say so but all that comes out is a contented sigh with a jerky nod. His words fail him and Eli can feel that his body is about to fail him as well. With the last reserves of his strength, he lifts himself off of her, scooting to lay beside her. She wraps her arms around him, pulling his face to rest between her breasts as she hugs him and strokes his hair. “You did so good.” The praises cause a shudder to run through him, his hands locking around her waist. Laying in her arms is perfect, being with her is perfect. It’s a perfect distraction from his responsibilities, from their responsibilities, from their actual lives. He wants to tell her that he loves her, talk about the feelings they both so clearly have, but the words get caught in his throat. So instead he settles for nuzzling closer to her and pressing a kiss to the skin of her chest, right over her heart.

#lemons #yeah im tagging it fuck off #eli palmer #eli palmer x deputy #far cry 5 #fc5 #smut #eli palmer smut #eli palmer fanfic #eli palmer fanfiction #eli palmer fic #lexa writes #f!deputy #female deputy #the deputy

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tsundere-model · 7 years ago

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[Jupiter to Izumi Vday Drabble]

[Hello hello! Thanks for liking the post! Here is Jupiter giving Izumi a Vday gift! Hope he enjoys it~]

—————————————————————-

She was very nervous about doing this, but she was going to do it. She had to! She had to be brave and take this plunge—but also she’d asked Ponsol to help her and he’d get upset with her if she wasted his time for nothing… so she had that working against her as well.

True, she could have asked Arashi for help, but she didn’t want to bother him with this. She still felt safer to be willful with Ponsol, even if he would complain about it afterwards.

All she had done was ask Ponsol if he knew that Izumi was inside and available, and Ponsol had sent off a message to the model to be given a response that made Ponsol ‘tsk!’ in irritation. She had to wait while watching him type away at this phone once more before he apparently got a favorable response from the model.

Wonder what was different between the two times he asked a question? Jupiter wouldn’t know the answer to this, but it was the fact that Ponsol didn’t mention Jupiter the first time around when Izumi gave him a cold answer. Once the heir stated that Jupiter was the one that was asking, Izumi’s tune changed and he was more than willing to explain the fact that he was currently at home and he’d be free in a couple of minutes.

The way that Izumi’s attitude changed when Jupiter was involved was rather interesting, that’s for sure.

Patiently, she waited a few minutes at Ponsol’s place until Izumi was going to be free, and then she zoomed herself over to his door. The heir did offer to come along to help translate anything for her, but she shook her head. She already had things covered by having some things written out in a notebook already.

The Notebook had been resting up against the wall the entire time as it was on standby. She didn’t need to bring it along with her when she was visiting Ponsol because they could already converse with sign language, so it would just be a burden for her to carry.

That’s what transpired up till this point and she was waiting outside the door after having knocked on it for Izumi to open the door to greet her with the friendly smile that he always gave her. Soon enough, the door opened and Izumi happily greeted her like he normally did.

To begin, she handed him a small plastic bag with a cute silver and blue ribbon that was tied around the top of the bag to keep the contents inside. Once she’d passed off the bag, she reached over to the notebook that was resting up against the wall to flip through a couple of pages to get to the pages that she needed to get to.

[Happy Valentine’s day! I made some cookies for you and I hope you’ll accept them! The recipe I used was the one that you taught me!]

A cute drawing of herself was drawn in the little corner of the page. The cookies were made with the same recipe that Izumi taught her before when she first met him and he invited her in and made some cookies with her. She had a good memory and so when she went back home, she jotted down what she could remember and she practiced making more until she made something good! These were the fruits of her hard work and her practice!

Personally, she thought that she did a really good job on recreating the treats herself. As her ‘sensei’ she wanted to give him proof that she was still working hard on baking. Maybe he would feel proud of her for her hard work? That would be nice!

[I cut cute shapes into them! I found cute cat and bunny shapes.]

Admittedly, there was a comment (from Ponsol) that Izumi was like a cat, and he did often make remarks about how she was like a small bunny. With that in mind, she found the cookie cutter shapes and she baked the cookies with those cute shapes.

Being as innocent and positive as she was, she thought that Izumi being like a cat was a compliment, but that’s not how Ponsol originally meant it when he said that. He was referring to the fact that Izumi was very capricious, and he seemed to have extreme mood swings. One moment he was fine, then he was getting all hissy, and he could suddenly be very happy.

Jupiter had thought that he was comparing Izumi to a cat because they were graceful and beautiful creatures. Who didn’t look at a cat and feel in awe of how regal they felt?

Both blonds, but they had two completely different images of Izumi in their heads.

[I hope that you’ll like them, sensei! ❤]

Now feeling a bit nervous and shy, she hid half of her face behind her notebook, feet fidgeting nervously, looking as though they were trying to climb on top of the other. She didn’t know what to really do now that she’d handed the cookies over and revealed her little messages.

Oh! That’s right! There is something else that she could say! She flipped to another page, pulled out the pencil from the spirals of the notebook and she wrote out another message for the model to read:

[Please be kind to me this year as well, Sensei! I’ll do my best to be a good student!]

There we go! These cookies were given with grateful feelings. Ponsol had explained it to her before that people in Japan sometimes gave out chocolates to say thank you to someone being kind to them. He went into the subject because she asked why he always had to give out gifts on ‘pi day’.

She was pretty sure that she was good to go and so she closed her notebook and she tucked it underneath her one arm before she waved goodbye to the model. She still had some other treats to deliver so she had to go~!

Sitting down on the carpet with his legs crossed, Izumi was now going through some texts he had to prepare for class. In between the chocolate rush and some unexpected last minute work, his whole schedule had become a mess he had to make up for. Since he didn’t had to go out just yet, he had yet to get ready -make-up and clothes wise- lounging around in sweat pants and hair clips. After he worked in this for another hour he’d go get ready and later he’d be out.

His phone rang with a message and he stretched over, not really wanting to get up from his comfortable spot on the carpet. A roll of his eyes at the name, wondering if the other was going to complain about the ‘left-over’ sweets he had gave him -technically left-overs even though he had made the cover specifically so Ponsol would not absolutely hate them. He opened it ready to get into some of their usual bickering. He crooked an eyebrow to the question of whether he was free, immediately replying he wasn’t. He didn’t know what Ponsol might want, but he was indeed busy, and unless it was a fire in his apartment, he’d rather die than be seen looking bad.

And his position withstood… at least until Jupiter’s name was mentioned, and suddenly it wasn’t such a bad idea and of course she could come over, he was right about to finish writing this anyway. Quickly typing that fifteen minutes should be enough -for he wouldn’t like to make her wait- Izumi worked through his papers, put on a slightly more decent jersey and lowered his hair.

He was already pretty decent when he heard the knock, and rushed over with a bright smile, ready to greet the cute girl.

A bag? With a smile he reached forward for the cute package “For me?” he questioned, all too happy about being given a present… and the ribbon made of his two favorite colors was a nice addition.

Blue eyes widened slightly at the thought of her remembering the recipe, a faint blush of shyness as he thought of her memorizing and following the recipe he had adapted from Ritsu’s to teach her. It made him really happy! Also he had to admit her drawing of herself was adorable.

“You remembered how to do it after just one time? That’s amazing Jupiter-chan” Opening the bag very gently, he peeked inside to see the cat and bunny shapes from the cookies. They looked really cute! He did wondered why had she chose those motives over others. If he was to know that she thought he was graceful and beautiful like a cat he would have been even happier-and embarrassed about it-. And if he had known that thought came from Ponsol calling him a cat, he would have shown a level of annoyance at the guess of it meaning nothing good. As if Ponsol had a better personality! He shouldn’t be complaining about others! “They look really cute~ I’m gonna enjoy these cookies a lot”

The little bow was surprising but he giggled a bit, all too happy about this situation.

“Thank you Jupiter-chan. It makes me really happy to have such a cute and cheerful little disciple. Let’s get along this year as well” he smiled, holding the little bag closer to his chest and reaching forward to give her a small pat on her head before she had to leave. Closing the door behind him he looked at the cookies. They were almost too cute to be eaten. But Jupiter might be sad if she knew he hadn’t ate them.

He took a few pics of the bag, and then placed the cookies over a little plate, mindful of the balance and composition. A satisfied hum, he took some more pictures. This was his treasure for the day, after all.

He should definitely make some sweets for her on White Day. After all, that strawberry and cream cake she might receive soon was also from Ritsu... he should definiteley do something on his own~

#vday2k18 #mutedangeljupiter #(( this was so cute ahhh ))#(( i had to write a little something back ))#(( he is v happy~ ))#(( and so I am ))#submission

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thesecretlifeofmerribethc · 6 years ago

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Playing catch up again >.<

1.24.19 - Today Manong took manang and I to our perspective places. Didn’t go to the HFCL this time since ehh, I’m not a big fan of the place. Studied at the library at the main campus. Also binged The Office. UGH. I need to delete Netflix because it’s getting out of hand! By the time I left the campus I was already one episode away from the finale. Anywho, went to the cafeteria and got a bacon cheeseburger for $2. Went back to the library and ate my burger there lol. At 5 something mom and manang came. Went to Fairlane mall to both Forever21 and H&M. After that we went to Leo’s in Taylor. Mom just ordered the bowl of lemon rice soup, I got the supreme nachos (or something like that), and manang got a 2 pc fish n chips. After that we walked it off at Target near the mall. There, I found the backpack I’ve always wanted was deducted even more! It went from $30, to $15 and then now $9!! Such a steal. Thankfully manang bought it for me. Man I owe her SO much once I start working! Definitely worth a trip or something like that. Also got shoes! Manang got a pair of black chelsea boots, plaid mules, and for me, black loafers! They’re so cute, and they were on sale for $7.48! Honestly you can’t beat that price. Finally went home after Target. Mom bought dad a fleece robe that was GoT lol.

1.25.19 - IKEA lunch today! Finally feel rested. Woke up at like 11:20 a.m. ish and got ready. Whole fam then left to get Marv who had a half day. Made our way to IKEA and of course it was a bit busy. Mom and dad got salmon filets, manang and marv got turkey medallions, manong got veggie balls and I got swedish meatballs. So good! Walked around a little bit but didn’t go the complete route. Shortcutted back to the entrance and then left for Target about a mile away. Manang returned the hair dryer and black pants. After Target we went to the Filipino store in Garden city. There the sibs and I just waited in teh car. Manong, Marv and I played Towerfall and Smash on the Switch. After that dad I and I went inside Aldi. Then we stopped by LaFontaine to look at cars then went home. At home we all just chilled/rested. Then the sibs and I watched some CoryXKenshin (he finally posted!). Watched the first ep of the Resident Evil 2 gameplay. After that we watched Cory’s Little Nightmares gameplay. So creepy!!

1.26.19 - Stayed at home today! Finally slept in. Painted my Stanley Vday card then went downstairs where manang was folding her clothes. Prepared dad’s shake while manang watched Criminal Minds. Washed dishes, vacuumed the kitchen, and then ironed dad’s shirts for work. Watched The Mummy on Netflix with manang and mom (Marv and manong left at 11 to go meet with kuya Karlo at Pandemonium for yugioh). After that I worked on the church programs and brought the painting stuff downstairs. Then manang and I continued watching the gameplays for Little Nightmares. SO CREEPY and SAD. Especially the DLC’s :( Finally finished watching those at like 7 something and Marv and manong came home. After watching those, manang did mom’s atomi facial and I did her nails. I also painted my nails a metallic silver. After that manang and I painted. I painted flowers and then The Place of Happyness (Erlingur’s home) where we stayed at in Iceland. Manang went upstairs, mom went to her room, and Marv and I were left in the dining room. We then ate some toast and butter, as well as drank some iced coffee that I made while watching random videos. One of the videos that stuck out was the Amazing world of Gumball and the flower that was ugly. Oh Marv also showed me earlier a Homer Simpson ep with Moe trying to kill himself and Homer did CPR. And Marv also showed me another homer one when his brother made him in charge of making his own car. Welp, it’s 3:35 a.m.!! It’s that coffee man. Drank so much today :P

Life, I’m lovin’ it,

Bebet

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daddymenrah · 8 years ago

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Elliot x Reader: Thank You Sir

OH YA’LL THOUGHT I WAS DONE? YA’LL THOUGHT I WASN’T GONNA POST NO VDAY NASTINESS? WELL YOU WAS WRROOOOOONNNNGGGG!

Request: The way you write dom Elliot is just.. holy shit so good!! A fic with some heavy choking and just general rough sex would be A+ tbh

A/N: Thank you babe!!! This request was A+ tbh, love me some heavy choking and rough sex so I probably got carried away with this one. ENJOY LOVES

(This was kind of a part 2 to yes sir?? I just thought it would carry on nicely from there.)

Warnings: Breath play, rough sex, daddy/sir kink, the usual. Idrk what came over me during the creation of this particularly nasty piece.

Since the evening you and Elliot first had sex, things had been different. He was more comfortable around you, more open, casual touching was now something he was slowly becoming at ease with. It seemed the experience had melted away a lot of his insecurities regarding your relationship, although he was still awkward and often quiet.

The subtle improvements were welcome ones, but your favourite improvement was the texts you’d receive from Elliot while at work.

‘Thinking about you. Come over after work.’ You would blush like a schoolgirl, and for the rest of the day he was all you could think about. No one could make you cum like Elliot did, no one could make you see stars like Elliot did, and no one could leave you in the heavenly state of satisfaction that Elliot did.

He explored different ways of tying you up, varying the kinds of knots he used and restraining you in delicious new positions. Sometimes he used toys, sometimes he simply utilized his sinfully talented mouth and hands. You’d had sex in just about every part of his apartment, minus one place. His sacred place. The place you wouldn’t dare touch, let alone have sex in.

His computer desk.

But there was one big problem with this unspoken restriction. The fact that it was forbidden in a sense only made you want to do it more, made you want to desecrate it, tie filthy memories all over it in the same way you had the rest of his home. However, you had no idea how to propose this to Elliot. You assumed since he’d never suggested it himself, and his protectiveness over that desk, that he would be against it.

The part of you that deeply respected Elliot’s personal and private space was fine with it and understood, but the part of you that needed Elliot anywhere and any way you could have him desperately wanted to ignore the former. You resigned yourself to the conclusion that you’d never know until you plucked up the courage to ask.

In fact, you were going over to Elliot’s apartment tonight. The pair of you planned on getting takeout and spending the night together. You decided you would gauge his mood, maybe ask him depending on how relaxed he seemed. It was tricky territory, and the thought of him getting mad made you nervous. You were never sure what exactly would make him angry, but you’d seen him furious before and did not want to be on the receiving end.

Your shift drags almost painfully, just as it always does when you have plans to see Elliot. You check the time obsessively, hoping a significant amount of time will have passed, until the golden hour arrives. Five o’clock. You’re a little shaky, having spent most of your time at work running over scenarios in your head of how Elliot might receive your proposition.

Despite this, you pack up your things, stop by the employee bathroom on the way out to check your makeup, then leave the building. You spend the entire subway ride fidgeting, getting turned on at the mere thought of what was waiting for you at the end of it. Elliot has a hold on you that you’ve never experienced before. He could cross your mind innocently and have your thighs clenching.

You left the underground and powerwalked to Elliot’s apartment. You’d dressed nicer than usual to work; you were feeling confident. Your hair done just the way that frames your face best and your favourite office outfit that fits you so well it makes your colleagues do a double take.

Once in the lobby of his apartment building, you take your heels out of your bag and change back into them from the flats you use to commute. Only then do you ascend the stairs, ready to tempt Elliot for all you were worth. Your nerves resurface when you reach his apartment door.

You nudge the door slightly and find it unlocked, you smile to yourself. Taking a breath, you push the door open and walk in.

“El?” You call out.

“In here.” His low voice responds. Your footsteps are slow as you approach him, to your delight, he’s seated at his desk typing away.

You make a daring move, resting your hands on his shoulders. Hovering them above before actually placing them on him so as to warn him, to give him a chance to refuse the contact. Your chest warms at the way he leans in ever so slightly into your hands.

“Hard at work?” You ask, the smile audible in your voice.

You see the side of his cheek pull back in a half smile. He finishes whatever it is he’s typing and turns to look up at you. You watch as his eyes rove appreciatively down your body. He wets his lips subconsciously.

“You look good.” He comments.

“I might have made a little more of an effort today.” You tease.

“Why’s that?” To someone who didn’t know Elliot as well as you do, it would appear he hadn’t got the hint at all, but you knew he was playing along. It excited you.

“I had an important meeting today.” You smirk. He cocks an eyebrow.

“Whoever it was with was lucky.”

You round his chair, going to stand in front of him. You lean against his desk experimentally, crossing your legs at the ankles and placing your hands behind you. You gauge his reaction, he seems more occupied by you than you touching his desk.

“He’s a pretty influential guy. Good looking too.” You explain, enjoying this little roleplay the two of you have going on.

“I’m sure he thought the same about you.” Your thighs clench at this.

“I might have even made a move on him if the circumstances weren’t so professional.” You flirt.

“I doubt he’d have turned you down, regardless of professionalism.” Elliot’s words were such a contrast to the monotonous voice he said them in, the ambiguity of his manner of speech was strangely exciting.

“Oh really.” You muse, uncrossing your legs so that your skirt hiked up a little. You spot the way Elliot’s hands twitch, as if resisting the desire to grab you. “Maybe I should have in that case.” You look Elliot in the eye, urging him on. He reaches out, hesitantly to begin with, then grips your thighs tightly.

“We could get into trouble for this, Mr. Alderson.” You whisper.

“I don’t fucking care.” He growls, his arousal bringing on the dominant persona he adopted during all your sexual altercations. His hands are trailing up your thighs, maintaining an intense gaze on your body at all times. “How long have you been thinking about this?”

“All fucking day.” You groan. His blunt nails suddenly dig into your skin.

“I don’t appreciate that kind of language from my employees.”

“I’m sorry sir-“

“Get on your knees and show me you’re sorry.”

It’s almost as though his words control your body rather than your own decisions; you slip down from the desk onto your knees. You undo the button on Elliot’s pants, unfastening them eagerly. His half-hardened dick comes free, right into your waiting hands. You waste no time in putting him between your lips, tasting his intoxicating flavour.

As your head rises and falls on his groin, you catch sight of the way he white-knuckles the arm rests of his chair, short breaths escaping his lips as you suck.

“Mm fuck.” He groans, wrapping his fingers in your hair, ruining its perfect style. But you couldn’t care less, you want him to ruin you tonight.

Just as you’re speeding up your rhythm, he yanks you off him and throws you to the floor. You’re a little disorientated, but unhurt. You know Elliot would never cause you harm.

“Get the fuck up.” He orders you. You do so, with an obedient ‘yes sir’. “Sit on my dick.”

You had to restrain yourself from clapping with glee, you were going to fuck Elliot in his computer chair. It was a little ridiculous, but it was your dream come true. You hike your skirt up, then move to pull your panties to the side but Elliot stops you.

“Did I tell you to do that yet?”

“No sir. Sorry sir.”

You rest your hands either side of his keyboard, trying to catch a glimpse of what he’s doing in the reflection of the dark computer screens. He feels up the globes of your ass, before pulling your panties down.

“Step out of them.” You comply. “Now take a seat.” Again, you comply.

You lower yourself oh so slowly down onto Elliot’s cock, clenching your walls around him. They were so slick that he slid in with virtually no trouble, the pair of you moaning in unison. He pulled you back, left hand tight on your chin and the other sliding up, under your shirt to grope your breasts.

“What do you say?”

“Thank you sir.”

His left hand dragged from your chin down to your throat, and your heart began to race with excitement, you knew what he was about to do.

“Move.” He murmurs in your ear, and you do just that. You begin to bounce on his cock and his hand tightens around your neck.

When you go down, he thrusts up, creating a deliciously forceful friction against your g-spot every time, within minutes you’re already close to cumming. From your vantage point, every time you go down you’re able to catch a glimpse of Elliot’s face in the screen. His expression when in the throes of passion is fucking stunning. His furrowed brows, his bottom lip drawn between his teeth, his eyes watching you relentlessly.

And that’s when your mind flashes with an image that sends a metaphorical lightbulb dinging above your head.

“Sir, can I ask you something?” You say breathlessly, struggling a little to get your words out with his grip so tight around your throat.

“Anything.” He exhales heavily, continuing to thrust into you with unforgiving force.

“Can I… Can I turn the camera on?” You ask, nearly whispering. Elliot’s pace falters, your request obviously taking him off guard.

“You know how I feel about that stuff, Y/N.” Elliot growls, still not stopping. You do know. He reminds you every time you hint at sending him dirty pictures. But he doesn’t know how you feel.

“I know it’s dangerous, but just think. You’re all alone, I can’t stay over and you’re horny. You just have to turn your computer on, press play and you can watch yourself fu- screwing me.” You must sound ridiculous, bargaining with him in such a strained voice, crying out between words.

You can’t tell if he’s mad, in agreement or what, he just continues fucking you. His dick sending your cunt into overdrive. You’re painfully oversensitive at this point, your climax coming very soon. And this could be the pushing point.

“Sir, don’t you want to get me cumming all over your dick on camera?”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, turn it on right fucking now.”

Elliot’s voice is a mixture of frustration and desperation, reaching around you to turn the monitor on and get the camera software up. You help him out, ripping the piece of tape covering the camera off and clicking record.

“Now you better cum harder than you’ve ever fucking cum before. Give daddy a show.” He mutters, he sounds so furious and it only serves to turn you on more.

Enough to send you spiraling into the hardest fucking orgasm you’ve ever had in your life. All Elliot’s rules for this encounter go out of the window.

“Holy fucking shit!” You scream as you squirt cum all over his lap.

“Just like that you dirty, little slut.” Elliot snarls, his hand returning to it’s rightful place around your throat.

“I’m your dirty, little slut, daddy.” You cry, actual tears rolling down your cheeks from the intensity of your elation.

“That’s fucking right. You want daddy’s cum now?”

“Yes please. Please daddy, shoot your cum inside my pussy.” You encourage him, rocking backwards and forwards on his cock for friction.

Suddenly, Elliot grip on you becomes painfully tight, making you choke. You can feel his fingertips bruising your tits.

“Ah fucking take it.” He cries out, hips pistoning into you erratically. You can feel him emptying himself inside you, painting your walls creamy white.

You manage to recover enough to click the stop button on the recording. You sigh in satisfaction, leaning back against Elliot.

“Regret it?” You joke.

“I’ll decide once I’ve watched it.” He chuckles.

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misssophiachase · 8 years ago

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So I kind of had two ideas for my Valentine's Day exchange drabble, this is my other one (here you go Steph - @klarolinedrabbles - consider this a bonus gift). I thought I might as well post it anyway now my stubborn muse has decided to kick in! Given the date has passed, this one isn't going to be VDay centred (probably explains the return of my muse funnily enough).

Co-stars and former lovers Klaus Mikaelson and Caroline Forbes can't stand each other for reasons only known to them. When an unwelcome, summer storm invades their film set in Georgia things between them come to a head.

(All lyrics in bolded italics from the song by Rhianna and Neyo and all flashbacks in plain italics.)

Hate that I Love You

One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me...

HATE/heɪt (v) feel intense dislike for (n) intense dislike.

Tybee Island, GA

"So what, you're just going to run away?" He demanded, the rain was falling in sheets and visibility was extremely low but Klaus could still make out her lone figure racing away from him and into the stormy night. "I really should have known, it's what you do best."

"Don't you dare put this on me, I wouldn't be running away if you would be honest about your feelings for once," she yelled, looking back briefly and pushing the wet strands of hair from her face. "At least I'm willing to put myself out there but you're just a coward."

"And running away in this storm is so much better?"

"Much better than having to deal with the same empty promises," she whimpered. Before he could argue, she ran away along the jetty, the rain and darkness enveloping her form.

"Cut!" The Director, Enzo St John yelled into the night air. One of the interns handed Klaus a towel and he used it to wipe the water from his bare forearms. Luckily it was still hovering at just over eighty-five degrees, one of the bonuses of filming in Georgia in July. The hose they'd been using to create their rain storm eventually abated and Klaus took the opportunity to look around the set now that he had a clear line of sight.

His familiar, blonde co-star was making her way from the jetty. Klaus couldn't deny she looked absolutely stunning saturated. Her blonde locks were firmly plastered to her face, framing those expressive, blue eyes and her fitted jeans and thin grey t-shirt stuck to her svelte frame. A frame he knew so well especially when it was naked and wrapped around him. In fact he'd memorised her entire body given his lips had travelled over every bare inch of her creamy skin. Trying to erase those images was proving difficult given they were emblazoned on his brain.

She was just another co-star, well that's what Klaus tried to tell himself every day of filming. And every day he had to tell himself that she wasn't just another anything. She was Caroline Forbes, the one woman who had managed to overwhelm him completely. A feat unheard of until now.

"Towel?" He offered as she strode past him, wringing out her long, blonde hair as she did it, her gaze firmly trained on the direction she was headed.

"No thanks, I mean who knows where those hands have been," she replied shortly, grabbing the one on offer from her waiting assistant nearby. Klaus shouldn't have been surprised, she'd been cold to him since they began filming three weeks earlier. If there was a competition for holding grudges, Klaus was pretty sure Caroline Forbes would win the championship hands down. Not that he could completely blame her, they hadn't left things well mainly due to a severe lack of communication teamed with his prevalent commitment issues.

Klaus knew she was angry but figured she'd had nine months to get over it. Her prickly demeanour was telling him she obviously wasn't.

"Okay, listen up everyone," Enzo interrupted. "That's a wrap but if you've been diligently reading your call sheets, as I hope, you'll know we're picking up tomorrow morning before sunrise at the beach. For those night owls who have no idea what time that equates to, it's 4:30am." Klaus rolled his eyes thinking that by the time he returned to his accommodation he'd be lucky to have three hours sleep. Less if his dreams were filled with Caroline like they'd been the past two weeks straight.

Given their first kissing scene was due to take place at sunrise, he was fairly certain that insomnia was most definitely on the cards tonight. He wasn't worried about the scene, her lips obviously weren't foreign to him and Klaus knew that part of the script he could master with ease but the problem was trying to stop himself when the director yelled cut. Klaus wasn't sure after so much time apart that he'd be willing to let her go so easily.

Klaus would always remember the first time he laid eyes on Caroline Forbes eighteen months earlier, mainly because she was more gorgeous in person than he could have imagined. Blonde waves, pink lips and creamy skin not to mention her gorgeous physique poured into a cornflower dress the exact hue of those eyes he'd committed to memory, throwing Klaus slightly off guard.

It was a Monday and their respective agents had organised brunch at the luxurious Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills to discuss the possibility of starring together in a yet to be titled period piece. Apparently the director wanted to find out if they had chemistry, Klaus always assumed that's what an audition was for but Enzo St John's approach was nothing short of unorthodox.

Klaus had already carved out a successful acting career and was never short of work so he didn't really need this role but something about meeting Caroline Forbes intrigued him. He'd seen her films and the girl certainly had talent. The fact she was absolutely beautiful just added to her overall allure.

As she made her way towards him those hips swinging rhythmically and hypnotising him, Klaus licked his lips in anticipation. He was already planning ways of getting her into his bed, possibly an intimate dinner at La Poubelle followed by a drink at his Hollywood Hill's mansion. No one refused his charms and he was fairly certain Caroline would follow suit.

"Hello, love," he smiled, breaking out those dimples he knew had the power to disarm most women. Her frustrated expression was telling him that she wasn't most women.

"It's Caroline," she replied, taking a seat. "So, what's good here?"

"Excuse me?" He asked, not expecting that comment to come out next.

"The food," she explained. "I'm starving." Klaus was so used to most actresses skipping the meal rather than devouring the menu as she seemed to be doing right now. Obviously she wasn't like most actresses either.

"The crispy bacon is pretty good," he offered. "If you don't mind the excess calories."

"Why would I mind that?" She baulked. "The more calories the better. In fact, I might get those pancakes and some of that bacon on the side." It was obvious her immediate focus was on food so they ordered quickly and once the waiter left they were alone again. Klaus always knew the right thing to say to women but she'd thrown him off slightly with all that food talk. He wondered whether her appetite for food matched that in the bedroom. He really was hoping so.

"So," she began. "Is this the part where we try to bond or something like that?" Klaus nearly spit out his mouthful of orange juice at her comment. If it meant between the sheets, he was definitely on board with a little bonding. "I think we can agree that we share a love of bacon, which is a start I guess."

"True. I honestly have no idea this is the first time I'ver ever had one of these famous Enzo St John 'get to know each other' meetings," Klaus shared.

"It isn't half awkward at all," she admitted, removing her oversized, Gucci sunglasses and placing them on the table. "It feels like I'm on a blind, first date and not meeting with my possible, future co-star." Klaus chuckled, she was certainly right about that. "I knew Enzo St John was eccentric but this weird 'do we have chemistry' meeting is verging on the bizarre. Especially given he's not even here to witness it."

"Oh, he isn't here but he records it. Didn't your agent tell you that?"

"You're joking," she muttered. "Right?"

"Unfortunately not."

"Thanks Katherine. Well that isn't creepy at all," she murmured. "Uh, not that I think you're creepy Mr St John, in fact you are one of the best directors I have ever come across."

"Smooth, love," he joked.

"I told you, it's Caroline," she insisted. Most girls thought it was endearing, she obviously wasn't so convinced of that fact.

"Fair enough, Caroline," he repeated, a little taken aback by her brazen nature. "I thought it was just the lack of food but someone's obviously a little uptight, if you don't mind me saying," he offered. She really did need someone to ruffle those feathers and Klaus figured he was the perfect candidate for the job.

"Actually I do," she growled. "I may be hungry but you don't even know me."

"I'm starting to believe that's not necessarily a bad thing," he joked. "Looks like someone needs some stress relief."

"Oh, I get it. You're the one who's going to provide it, right? Between you and me I think you need to work on your lines, Mikaelson."

"My lines," Klaus scoffed. Where did she get off accusing him of that? He didn't need lines, he was Klaus bloody Mikaelson after all. "I was merely stating that you are in fact unnaturally tense and that response just proves my point."

"I didn't realise you were a therapist."

"I'm not but if there's something I know about women it's how to relax them, if you know what I mean," he implied, raising his eyebrows knowingly. Klaus didn't expect to jump into that straight away but it was obvious she needed some kind of sexual intervention.

"Charming. You know I'm not sure the director would think this was entirely professional conversation."

"Well, given he's not listening I think it will be okay."

"Excuse me?"

"I was joking before, I assumed you knew that."

"Uh no I didn't, excuse me if I'm not familiar with your warped sense of humour just yet," she hissed.

"My sense of humour is perfectly fine," he growled. "From what I can tell though yours is absolutely non existent."

"That's it, I'm going. No movie role is worth this."

"There's no need to be so childish, love," he said. "Plus, you're not going to leave. If anything it's because I know just how hungry you are."

"Don't worry about me, I'll get it to go," she shot back ignoring his obvious double meaning, standing up and stalking away. Despite everything Klaus couldn't deny just how sexy her pert bottom looked as she left. Same with that feisty attitude.

Turns out Enzo might not have been filming them but he'd organised for someone to sit at the neighbouring table and identify any possible chemistry. According to his spy these two had enough combustable energy to start a fire. Pity neither actor wanted anything to do with the other even when he subsequently pursued them. Enzo would lie in wait for his next available opportunity to cast them together, knowing that their sparks would translate into an enormous profit at the box office. He just needed to convince them of that fact.

And your kiss won't make me weak...

Caroline was pretty certain she was one of the only actors who truly dreaded award ceremonies. She figured it might change if and when she was ever nominated one day but she hated the fact she had to starve for weeks all in the vain hope of stuffing herself into a dress that was at least two sizes too small. She loved her food, what could she say? So, here she was poured into a canary yellow Alexander McQueen and willing herself not to eat the table legs. As the ceremony flew past in a flurry of bad jokes and even worse acceptance speeches she found her eyes wandering the room. Then she noticed him.

They hadn't spoken for months, only if you counted speaking as trading barbs at various events. He was still a phenomenal actor, pity about that whole arrogant playboy part. When she'd met with him at the Peninsula, Caroline had to admit she had some preconceived notions given his wild reputation but when he proved them correct she'd actually been disappointed.

She'd never met anyone so smug, not to mention delusional. She took her career seriously but it was obvious Klaus Mikaelson had one hell of an ego and got by on his looks, recycled lines and not much else. Yes, he was extremely talented but that was where her admiration towards him ended. She'd be lying if she hadn't followed his movements in the tabloids since though, Caroline decided to try and put that down to idle curiosity and nothing more. But really, who was she kidding?

Unfortunately when it came to the actor in question, her head and other parts of her anatomy weren't on the same page. It had been a while after all and Caroline couldn't deny the lust coursing through her body as she assessed his appearance. His black suit fitted him like a second skin. His dirty, blonde curls were tamed tonight but there was no mistaking those sinful, crimson lips.

Almost like he could feel her watching he turned in his chair slightly, raising his drink in salute, those disarming dimples emerging with full force. She looked away in embarrassment, feeling her cheeks heat up at the same time. Why did he have to catch her staring so obviously?

Caroline liked to be in control but the one thing she couldn't stop was the heat spreading through her body as he continued to peruse from a distance. She wanted him badly, that much was obvious. Yes he was an arrogant ass but Caroline decided she needed to get him out of her system once and for all and what better way than having a one night stand? Some people detoxed with juice, Caroline had another approach.

Fast forward through ninety minutes of stolen glances and they'd wordlessly made their way to the elevator, their eyes not leaving each other but also mindful not to touch given the intense media scrutiny.

Her heart was racing and every fibre of her being was telling her this was an extremely bad idea but she couldn't fight it any longer. Caroline wasn't sure whether it was the alcohol she'd consumed to dull her boredom along with the lack of food or whether it was the sight of him in a tuxedo but as the lift doors closed behind them the pent up, sexual tension was palpable.

Klaus lunged forward and took her by the shoulders, greedily caressing her lips. Every fear she had was melting away as his tongue massaged hers causing Caroline to groan into his mouth. His hands moved lower tracing the yellow fabric over her abdomen and found her hips roughly pushing her against the wall and cupping her taut behind and lifting her so that his growing erection was now pressed firmly against her thigh.

The wall was cool against her bare back but the warmth from his mouth as it devoured hers was causing heat to stir in even the most dormant of places. It had been far too long which was the reason Caroline figured she was acting so unusually reckless but right now as his head dipped lower and his tongue circled her nipple teasingly through the fabric of her dress, she didn't care about the consequences. His tongue picked up it's rhythm and Caroline grabbed onto a fistful of his hair trying to steady herself as the sensations he was causing began to build.

The elevator dinged, interrupting their frenzied activity. They stared at each other, their breathing equally ragged. His eyes were searching hers hungrily as he placed her back on the ground slowly. Caroline didn't want to question anything anymore. She tore away her gaze, taking his hand and pulling him out of the lift and down the hall hurriedly. The point of no return had well and truly passed.

Caroline woke with a start, the sheen of sweat coating her skin a telling sign that her dreams had been less than innocent. She scowled knowing just who was responsible. Him. It had been months since their last tryst but Caroline still couldn't shake him.

She'd tried, even going out with some wannabe actor who loved his hair more than life itself but it hadn't stopped the dreams, if anything it had only encouraged them. Co-starring together given their history probably wasn't the best move but it was a Nicholas Sparks adaption and you didn't ever turn that down, just ask Rachel McAdams. The fact Enzo St John was directing and had been chasing her for over a year only added to its appeal.

The only problem was having to be in such close proximity to Klaus again and anyone who'd seen a Nicholas Sparks film would know that close proximity meant skin on skin as well as everything else possible including lips, hands and tongues. Today was their first on screen kiss and Caroline was nervous, yes she'd tasted him before but this time it would be in front of the entire cast and crew. Easy, right?

It was still dark when Caroline rolled out of bed trying to psych herself up for the scene. She could kiss Klaus in her sleep but she was worried about the consequences and the residual feelings it would awaken. He was still an ass but his effect upon her wasn't going to fade anytime soon unfortunately. She'd tried to tell herself it was just physical but she knew that was just a poor attempt to try and get over him for good. Funnily enough it wasn't working.

The water was cool but not as biting as Caroline had expected, she silently thanked Georgia for the seasonally warm climate. His eyes raked over her body, she was wearing a white t-shirt that was now translucent from the elements, her brief bikini clearly on show underneath. His hands were grazing her lower back, those dark, blue eyes drinking in her appearance just as the sun broke through the sky for the first time. This was the pivotal scene where Jaime and Chris realised they were falling in love.

The crew held off, making sure their cameras were ready to capture that exact moment when the streaks of brilliant oranges and pinks emerged to create the perfect backdrop for their first, searing kiss. Caroline inhaled deeply, trying to steady herself. She wanted to hate him so much but that was difficult when he was only inches away. It would be so easy to lean forward and give into him completely like before.

He didn't deserve her though and as much as Caroline hated to admit it, Klaus Mikaelson wasn't the right guy for her and although their attraction was still so intense nothing would change that fact. Caroline felt her chest constrict hoping that she would be able to manage to recite her lines.

"Action," Enzo yelled.

"You're so beautiful," Klaus murmured, pulling her closer into his arms.

"I bet you say that to all the girls," she teased. "Just so you know, I'm not that easily swayed especially by arrogant, city guys who sweep into town only wanting a summer romance."

"That's why I like you so much," he grinned, placing his hand on her head and combing his fingers through her wet hair affectionately. "I may be a city guy but I didn't sweep in here expecting anything, least of all to meet someone like you. Plus, your fishing skills are second to none."

"They are but should I be worried that you're only using me for sustenance and survival if we got stranded on a desert island?"

"I think we both know why we're here and it has nothing to do with that. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm falling in love with you Jaime." Klaus uttered, closing the gap between them and capturing his lips with hers.

It had been a while but if you asked Caroline at that exact moment it was like they'd never been apart. She melted into him. The actress in her knew that this scene with the brilliant sunrise in the background would look stunning on screen but every other feeling was spurring her on further. She didn't remember when the director called cut, Caroline was far too caught up in Klaus to register anything else.

"Fancy running into you here," his familiar voice commented, taking a seat on the neighbouring barstool. Caroline rolled her eyes thinking it was typical, all she wanted was some alone time without her ex-lover she'd kissed earlier that day.

"Given there aren't many bars on this tiny island it's hardly a coincidence," she growled, swirling the vodka around her glass and then taking a much needed sip.

"So, drinking this early in the afternoon?"

"What can I say you've driven me to alcohol," she muttered. Yeah him and his stupid ass kiss that she'd been playing in her head on repeat all day. It didn't help that his blue polo shirt was emphasising his eyes and highlighting his toned muscles and newly acquired tan.

"You used to like my kisses," he offered, almost like he could read her mind.

"I was faking it."

"Oh and what about all those orgasms? Were you faking those as well?"

"Well, I am a damn good actress," Caroline boasted.

"That you may be love but no one is that good at faking an orgasm," he shot back. Yes, he had a big ego but she'd truly enjoyed him as much as he'd enjoyed her., unfortunately too much given she couldn't get over his pompous ass.

"Are you just here to revisit our brief and regrettable history Mikaelson or do you actually have a point?" The hurt that crossed his face told Caroline that she'd either bruised his precious ego or he actually cared. She was pretty sure it was the first knowing him.

"I realise it was my fault it was brief but I've never regretted one moment between us, Caroline," he implored, turning to face her. "If I could change things I would."

"Oh really? And how exactly would you change things?"

"I would have realised what an idiot I was to let you go," he murmured. "I was immature back then, I didn't realise what a real relationship was and to be honest it kind of scared me."

"Oh so that gives you the right to call things off when they were getting a little too suffocating for your liking?"

"It wasn't suffocating, it was just new," he mumbled.

"So, why exactly are you stalking me now? You got your wish, feel free to go out and sleep with as many groupies as you like, you have my permission."

"I don't want your permission," he baulked. "In fact I don't want any groupies either, I haven't been with anyone since you, Caroline. All I want is you."

"And that's my fault?"

"No, it's mine because I was too stupid to see how lucky I was to have you in my life," he pleaded, hoping to get through to her.

"Too little too late," she muttered, draining her glass and throwing a wad of notes on the bar.

"Is it because of him?"

"Who?"

"That Stefan Salvatore idiot you were dating," he scowled, his jealously obvious.

"My love life is none of your business, it hasn't been for a long time." She rushed away before he could reply, Caroline should have been angry he was playing the jealous ex lover but if anything she was just sad. Sad about what could have been between them all those months ago.

But no one in this world knows me the way you know me...

LOVE/ lʌv n. a strong feeling of affection, great interest and pleasure in something v. feel deep affection or sexual love for (someone)

Klaus knew things had changed considerably since their kissing scene and subsequent conversation a week earlier, Caroline was decidedly quiet and far less feisty than usual. He wasn't sure whether it was a good or bad sign. When they were submerged in the water he felt her shiver uncontrollably as his hands grazed her hips and Klaus knew it wasn't only due to the temperature. He also knew that kiss they shared wasn't just two people acting out parts in a movie. Her unsettled behaviour at the bar had only confirmed his suspicions.

But she was still so hostile towards him and it wasn't only the wet dreams that were keeping him awake at night it was trying to work out what was going through her head. Klaus decided it was a question that he'd probably never be able to answer in his lifetime given women like Caroline were just that complicated.

When he signed onto this movie, Klaus had been far too driven about starring alongside Caroline to really focus on the overall plot, although his publicist told him the softer and more emotional role would help improve his supposed womanising image. He'd fallen short of arguing with Bonnie given she was right most of the time and knew it. Well, that was before he met Caroline. In the months they'd been apart Klaus had been completely and unusually celibate, he hadn't lied to Caroline about that. It wasn't like he hadn't tried to get Caroline out of his system multiple times but those familiar blue eyes would flash through his mind and render him pretty much useless.

The film and dialogue mirrored so much of their short history and Klaus knew he wasn't the only one thrown by it given her recent behaviour. The only saving grace was that she had signed on to be here too and that had to mean something. He truly believed he was a different guy to the one she'd met months ago but he needed to convince Caroline of that fact, if she'd ever listen to him again of course.

They were shooting the first love scene in the famed lighthouse this morning and as they readied themselves Klaus knew this wasn't going to be anything like their previous times together. If anyone thought filming love scenes was romantic then they obviously had no idea what was involved.

It didn't help that a weather front was also moving in and talk of production possibly halting had been rife. Hurricane Matthew had already caused so much damage in the neighbouring Bahamas and it was apparently headed towards them at a rapid pace. They'd considered evacuating the small island but emergency services had insisted that it was weakening considerably and had downgraded its severity. Klaus also figured Enzo wanted to push on mainly because he loved a bit of drama.

Caroline had been silent as they prepared for the scene, he could sense she was uneasy. Klaus wasn't sure whether it was due to the impending love scene or the weather conditions. She always liked to put on a brave face but Klaus knew she was an expert worrier.

"Are you okay," he whispered, trying not to attract the attention of the crew that were helping to set up the shot.

"I'm fine," she hissed.

"You know I read something in an article once, Cosmopolitan I think it was. When a woman says she's fine it generally means many things including fuck off before I beat you to death with my Manolo Blahnik." Caroline let out an unexpected chuckle surprising him slightly. It had been so long since he'd heard that beautiful, melodic laugh.

"You know Manolo Blahnik is a shoe brand and you read Cosmopolitan?"

"Well, how else am I going to know which guys are bad for me and which moisturiser is best for my complexion? Plus, I just love those quizzes about how to find your perfect guy."

"So, how did you do?" She asked, a grin crossing her face. Something he'd missed in all the time they'd been filming.

"He's apparently sweet, sensitive and at least six foot," he replied. "Unfortunately I'm still waiting for him to turn up but no sign just yet."

"I'm worried about this storm," she whispered, her smile suddenly turning into an anxious frown. "Do you think we're going to be okay?"

"Well, I imagine they wouldn't let us stay here if it wasn't one hundred percent safe," he shared. "I'm sure we'll be fine, love."

The grey clouds had continued to roll in but production continued anyway. Even the low grumble of thunder in the distance had been ignored in place of the perfect scene they were filming at the top of the lighthouse.

Klaus was now pushed up against Caroline in a confined space, her smooth breasts rubbing against his chest as his arms looped around her neck and his lips devoured hers. The one thing he was glad about was that his growing erection was now hidden by the strategically placed blanket he was that aroused. The sound of her panting between kisses as he pretended to penetrate her was killing him but this was acting after all.

"Cut!" Enzo yelled unexpectantly. Klaus looked at the director curiously, given he'd been intimate with Caroline before he didn't think his acting was that bad. "Looks like Mother Nature has other plans and according to our OHS representative, apparently it's my duty as director to advise you that even though the hurricane's category hasn't changed, you can evacuate if you so wish," he growled, his annoyance obvious.

Klaus and Caroline looked at each other awkwardly. When you were immersed in a scene like that you could lose yourself and your identity but once the director yelled cut it had a habit of bringing you back to reality with a bang. The fact it was so awkward and given their close proximity didn't help as they tried to extricate themselves. Losing her warmth against him was probably the hardest part. By the look on her face, Caroline felt the same way.

They dressed hurriedly not looking in each other's direction and made their way to their accommodation to gather their belongings. Klaus looked at his things scattered on his bed and for some reason he had no desire to leave. The evacuation warnings weren't compulsory and Enzo had only advised them as a precaution. He even knew of a few bars that were holding hurricane parties. Klaus had never been one to run away from danger and he didn't want to start now.

So you'll probably always have a spell on me..

Caroline was worried, she'd hurriedly packed her belongings and left her hotel waiting to be picked up with everyone else. People were gathered at the jetty waiting for their departure, the wind had picked up considerably and she searched the area for him but no sign.

"Okay everyone, we have cars coming to ferry you to the mainland in the next ten minutes," Enzo shouted for their benefit. Still he didn't appear and Caroline headed towards Enzo purposefully.

"Where's Klaus?" She asked pointedly, trying not to sound so upset.

"He's staying on the island," he shared. "There are a few of the cast and crew doing that but there's nothing to be worried about."

"Does he have a death wish?"

"He should be more than okay this is really just a precaution but I suggest you ask him that question if you'e so worried," Enzo offered turning away, she couldn't miss the knowing smirk that crossed his face though. Caroline consulted her options, she could either stay here like an absolute idiot or make her way to Savannah. As much as she preferred the second option she left the jetty and made her way inland. If she died she was going to blame his idiotic ass.

The wind had picked up, people were running around in a panic but Caroline continued her trek towards his accommodation. She'd been cursing loudly wondering why she'd been so stupid to track him down but the overwhelming problem was that she unfortunately cared. More than that she loved the stupid bafoon, even with those arrogant and childish tendencies. The fact he was staying during a hurricane was case in point.

She banged on his hotel room door loudly, hoping that he hadn't left yet, she wanted to give him a piece of her mind before that. He didn't answer straight away and Caroline felt deflated with every fruitless knock. What if something bad had happened?

"Okay, no need to knock the door down," Klaus shouted as he threw the door open. "Caroline?"

"You bastard!"

"Well, hello to you too, love," he replied, his surprise obvious. Caroline was trying to ignore just how gorgeous he looked with only a white towel slung around his waist. His hair was wet and his bare chest on full display and she could make out the stray water droplets that were running teasingly downwards. "What are you still doing here? You really need to leave the island."

"But yet you haven't?"

"The threat isn't that bad, so I decided to stay."

"Why doesn't your immaturity surprise me?"

"So, why exactly are you still here if I'm so childish?" Caroline had no answer, her emotions were in overdrive. When she'd discovered he was staying every fibre in her body had gone into overdrive.

"You frustrate me," she bit out through clenched teeth.

"I think we've already covered that."

"Fine, I love your annoying, childish ass and I was worried," she growled, moving inside past him. "Are you happy now?"

"It's not a competition, love," he sighed. "You realise that I love you too, have done for a long while now."

"So, that excuses everything you did?"

"Not at all," he murmured. "I was stupid."

"But i won, right? You know because I said it first and all." She grinned, placing her hands on his bare chest.

"Well..." Before he could reply properly she'd removed his towel and pushed him onto the bed. "I'm assuming if I agree I'm going to get very lucky tonight."

"There was never any contest, plus I've heard its pretty hot having sex during a storm."

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#hate that i love you #perhaps one day #sophia chase #loving klaroline #klaroline drabbles

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